SAN DIEGO – Viewing the film Screams Before Silence directed by Anat Stalinsky and led by Sheryl Sandberg set the tone for a serious and emotional night for Tifereth Israel Synagogue members. The viewing was limited to 15 women with the location not shared to keep the place a safe environment.
Matthew Seitman, PsyD and Becca Lantry, MA, MS facilitated the program and started discussing the written informed consent that was provided to all the attendees as we arrived. It was a precaution because viewing the graphic documentary and discussing the use of sexual violence against women might trigger or elicit significant emotions to occur.
Dr. Seitman noted he would not be viewing the film in the room with all the women to respect the women-only space. He would be in another room if someone needed additional support. Most importantly, Dr. Seitman stressed to take care of our well-being and our emotions, it was okay to leave if the film were too much to endure.
Many individuals did not want to watch the film about the horrific attacks on Jewish women during the Oct 7 massacre alone. Limiting the number of reservations to women-only, having mental health clinicians facilitate and not listing the location facilitated this event.
Halfway through the viewing, Lantry paused the film and encouraged us to get up and take a break, to get some tea, or stretch. As we returned, she led the group in a de-stressing breathing exercise and reminded us that we were in a safe place.
After the film, we met in a circle and de-briefed our feelings and thoughts. The consensus of the group was frustration, fear and anger. We processed what we saw and many of us could not explain or put into words what to say. A common agreement was the fear of posting about the war and your individual thoughts on social media. Many of us have avoided social media for that purpose or only post about positive matters. We agreed that more education at the colleges would be helpful as many students are confused about the information that is coming from the protesters.
Takeaways from the film: I think as a community, we all feel lost and do not know what to do. How can we stop this, and how can we help? We can send money and we can pray, but this violence against women continues. Not just to Jewish women but to women of all races and religions. These women who screamed and were silenced are no longer alive to tell their stories.
The survivors’ and Sandberg’s reason for the film were that during these horrific events, this would bring hope that this will not happen again and that these women’s stories will not be forgotten.
Ever since October 7, I have felt ashamed celebrating a birthday or a holiday knowing that there are hostages who might not live to celebrate another birthday or holiday. I wish I could bottle up their trauma and pain and throw it away so they could go back to living happy lives with the ones they love.
Dr. Seitman recommended that if you feel the need for further therapeutic support, Dynamic Pathways Psychology Inc. is available to provide therapy services to our community members or assist in finding a referral to a therapist who meets your needs. Click here to contact Dr. Seitman to arrange support or referrals.
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Cailin Acosta is the assistant editor of the San Diego Jewish World.