Parsha Shelach: Don’t Let Your Fears Get in Your Way

By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.

EL CAJON, California — Get ready to dive into a fascinating psychological phenomenon that’s been playing out in our Torah readings week after week – the birth of contemporary psychology unfolding right before our eyes! This week, a key concept leaps off the pages, one that forms the very foundation of cognitive behavioral therapy: cognitive distortions, said a bit differently, “the link is what you think.”

Imagine the scene – the Jewish People, fresh out of the incredible Exodus experience, find themselves faced with a choice: embrace the positive or succumb to the negative. Tragically, they chose the latter, disqualifying the miracles they had witnessed and viewing life through a filter of excessive bleakness. It’s a cautionary tale that resonates even today with a world filled with depression and anxiety.

As Avrohom Birnbaum eloquently put it in his column in Yated Ne’eman, our minds, the mishkan of our siechel, continue to be impaired by the irrational tumah we feed on. Just like our ancestors, we too can fall victim to cognitive distortions, twisting reality and clouding our judgment.

But fear not! By recognizing these distortions for what they are, we can begin to break free from their grip and cultivate a more balanced, flexible, rational mindset. It’s a journey of self-awareness and growth that our Torah has been guiding us towards all along.

FEAR, an acronym for “False Expectations Appearing Real,” puts the brakes on a good life. FAITH, “Fear Ain’t In This House” or “Forward All Issues To Hashem” takes the brakes off and promotes a more enjoyable life. This week we are reminded just how powerful and limiting irrational fear can be. Yet fear is often a natural response that when mixed with hope can move us forward to our own personal, “Promised Land.” Without faith however, fear alone cripples us. The secret is building the mindset to move from burden to blessing.

Moses sends out 12 scouts, one from each tribe, to check out the Promised Land before the Israelites make their big move. No big deal, right? Well, that’s what they thought too…until ten of the spies came back with this totally negative report that had everyone trembling in their sandals! “The land does flow with milk and honey. However, the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large.” These ten say, “We were in our own eyes like tiny grasshoppers, and so were we in their eyes.” See, the Torah points out that if they really did feel that small next to the locals, they could’ve just said, “We were like locusts compared to them.” Simple, straightforward, no drama. But instead, they projected their own insecurities onto the situation.

Joshua and Caleb’s approach to their scouting mission stood in stark contrast to that of the other ten spies, primarily due to their unwavering faith in Hashem’s promises and power. While all twelve men observed the same land and people, Joshua and Caleb interpreted these observations through a unique lens of faith, trusting in Hashem’s ability to fulfill His promises regardless of apparent obstacles. They emphasized Hashem’s strength rather than their own limitations, recognizing that with divine support, the Israelites could overcome any challenge.

Unlike their counterparts, Joshua and Caleb acknowledged the difficulties they faced, but framed them as opportunities rather than insurmountable barriers, seeing the land’s abundance as outweighing the risks. Their confidence was rooted in Hashem’s past faithfulness, recalling His protection and provision during the Exodus and desert wanderings. Despite being in the minority, they boldly voiced their convictions, demonstrating moral courage in the face of opposition.

It’s like, deep down, the other ten spies already felt insignificant and tiny. And so, even if the Canaanites didn’t see them that way, that’s how the scouts perceived it. Their own self-doubt colored their entire experience and perspective.

Can you imagine the vibe? These spies were supposed to just give the facts, but instead they’re exaggerating everything negatively – making the locals sound like giants, the cities like fortresses. Suddenly, the land that was supposed to be flowing with milk and honey seems more like a total nightmare zone.

And you know what happens next? The people totally lose it! All that excitement about finally reaching their destination after wandering for years? Poof, gone in an instant, replaced by fear and doubt. Next thing you know, they’re ready to just pack it up and head back to Egypt!

It’s a too-common story, and when you think about it, we’ve all been there. How many times have our own insecurities and doubts, our magnifying the negative, kept us from seeing things clearly or taking that next step? The spies let their own fears totally warp their perspective on the situation.

But here’s the good news – we don’t have to stay stuck in that mindset. By practicing mindfulness and being present in the moment, we can learn to watch our thoughts without getting swept away by them. Instead of letting our fears call the shots, we can choose to approach challenges with openness and resilience. The parsha emphasizes the importance of examining our thoughts, motives, and actions, foundational to a contemporary form of emotional education. After all, it says in Proverbs, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”

And here’s a beautiful thing: When we can catch ourselves doing that, we can begin to break the cycle. We can choose to see ourselves in a more positive light and watch how that shifts our whole reality.

The problem in life is not the problem…the way we think about the problem is the problem. We can overcome any challenge life throws our way. Because let’s be real, the scouts in this week’s parsha seriously dropped the ball on that one.

It’s like they betrayed the most sacred quality of life itself – the confidence to face our dilemmas head-on. Instead of asking “How can we do this?” they got stuck on “Can we even do this at all?”

We’ve all been there, right? Those moments where our inner confidence starts chipping away and suddenly the obstacles in front of us look massive. Just like when the scouts saw themselves as tiny insects, and bam – that’s how they believed the giants saw them too.

When you cultivate that deep, unwavering belief that you can overcome, no matter what, that’s when the real magic happens. Suddenly, you’ve got this surge of power, and you start seeing and acting upon possibilities instead of roadblocks. It’s like the universe starts conspiring to help you accomplish your mission.

But how do we get to that level? How do we build that profound confidence to tackle every curveball? Here’s the secret sauce: We tap into something bigger than ourselves – our connection with Hashem.

By nurturing this relationship and staying rooted in our life’s purpose, we gain access to this endless wellspring of faith. We realize that we’ve got a higher power in our corner, one that’s given us all the tools and abilities we need to fulfill our mission on this earth, His mission for us.

Yes, our world is a giant, intricate tapestry, braided with all sorts of threads – joy, sorrow, weird stuff, and everything in between. The step to emotional health? Seeing the whole picture with flexibility, not just the black and white bits. That’s challenge number one.

We would be wise to love and accept ourselves, quirks, imperfections, and all. Don’t shrink ourselves to fit some mold. Why? Because we’re basically “mini-masterpieces,” created by Hashem. Shrinking ourselves is telling Hashem that He made a mistake.

Rabbi David Wolpe observed, “The spies Moses sent all saw the same land, yet some despaired and some rejoiced.  The world is the world.  How we see it shapes our lives.  Sometimes we need not new vistas but new vision.”

Now, this self-love journey might get a little bumpy. We might feel a teeny bit lost, a little “what am I doing here?” That’s okay! It’s just the “anxiety of nothingness” whispering. But guess what? That feeling can be the fuel we need to create something truly awesome, a brand-new way of being.

With that degree of emunah, of bitachon, of absolute trust in Hashem’s promises, anything becomes possible. We certainly become free of worry. We don’t just face challenges – we become unstoppable forces who shatter limits and defy expectations since our minds are unleashed and can now freely focus on building a relationship with Hashem, strengthening our Avodas Hashem. We are taught to transform our thought patterns, beliefs, and behaviors to promote psychological and spiritual well-being

So, don’t be a doubting scout.  We can adopt a higher mindset. Choose to embody that unshakable confidence. Lean into your spiritual side. And watch how your whole reality starts to shift when you realize your true power. There is a saying Chassidim say that I often rely upon: “When you are bound above you do not fall below.”

Let’s take from Shlach faith-based realistic optimism, a trusting, faith-filled vision of ourselves and of our lives. Our outlook depends on our “inlook.”

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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun.