By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO –The Trump transition team plans to introduce a mandatory civil service exam for all federal government employees. It is considerably shorter than its predecessors. Here’s the first draft:
1. Did you vote for Donald Trump to be president in 2016, 2020, and 2024?
Yes No
2. Was the 1/6 demonstration a love fest like Woodstock?
Yes No
3. Is Matt Gaetz more qualified than Harvey Weinstein to be Attorney General ?
Yes No
4. Are undocumented aliens guilty of all crime and pet disappearances in the United States?
Yes No
5. Are tariffs paid by the country that exports products to the United States?
Yes No
6. Should Liz Cheney and Mark Milley be executed by a firing squad?
Yes No
7. Should Donald Trump be designated the sexiest man alive by People magazine?
Yes No
8. Is Vladimir Putin the second greatest leader after Donald Trump in the world?
Yes No
9.Is Elon Musk the second greatest businessman after Donald Trump in the world?
Yes No
10. Is Donald Trump a stable genius? [Note: This does not mean he’s good with horses.]
Yes No
If you answered no to any of these questions, go directly to the Department of Homeland Security and register as an internal enemy of the United States. You will then await your deportation from an internment camp to a “shithole nation” of your choice.
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Laurie Baron is a professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University