By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
EL CAJON, California — You’ve heard it many times, “Man plans, Hashem laughs.” Or perhaps, like me, you’ve heard this version, “Mentsch tracht, Gott lacht.” I like “Man thinks, Hashem Winks.” Regardless, like all of us who prefer to live without being mutchet or tcheppeht, (pressured or bothered), Jacob found that life has its challenges and disappointments. Just when we think all is well in our family, in our career, in our lives, Hashem shows us He has another lesson for us to learn. It seems the only thing predictable about life is how unpredictable it can be.
A lesson? Yes, a lesson. This is based on the Hasidic notion of yeridah tzorech aliyah, meaning “descent for the sake of ascent.” Every setback is a setup for a comeback. It’s incumbent on us to see clearly this setup. The only reason we fall is to rise. Perhaps this is one of the key life lessons in this week’s parsha, Vayeishev.
From Rashi we learn that Jacob wanted to live in peace, in shalva, in tranquility, but it was not to be. From the Ramban we see again the notion that we can plan all we want, but it is G-d’s ultimate plan that takes precedence, “Hagezera emet, vehacharitzut sheker.” We live as partners with Hashem, between our own free will and Hashem’s blueprint for us. Mishlei 19:21 teaches us, “There are many thoughts in a man’s heart, but Hashem’s plan-that shall stand.”
At the beginning of the parsha, we read that Jacob sent Joseph (Yosef) to Hebron. But later Joseph sees that it’s all Hashem’s will, and shares with his brothers, “So it was not you who sent me here, but Hashem” (Genesis 45:8). Vayeishev, perhaps more than any parsha, teaches us that downturns aren’t permanent. We would be wise to clearly see this.
Do we always see, are we mindful of, His hand in our lives and in the lives of our family and our friends? When His plan deviates from our own hopes and dreams, do we come closer to Him or are we so shaken that we turn away? When we daven, pray, we would be wise to be mindful of the words that teach us that, like Joseph who saw that Hashem was always with him (Genesis 39:2), that He is with us, teaching us, guiding us, and assisting us. Those fortunate enough to see this undoubtedly lead a rich, comforted, life. As Rudyard Kipling put it beautifully in his poem “If.” “If you can meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two imposters just the same…You are a better man than most.”
Who can’t identify something in her/himself in what we see in Yosef? We’ve all had difficulties feeling misunderstood, keeping up with our siblings and peers, blurting things out, being thought of as never amounting to anything. Sometimes, we’ve experienced either side of favoritism as well. Sounds common to me.
In a profound moment of divine guidance however, Yosef received a life-changing lesson about purpose and focus. When Yosef was wandering, searching for his brothers, the Angel Gavriel appeared and asked him a powerfully insightful and transformative question: “Mah Tevakesh?” – “What are you seeking?” Read and repeat that to yourself. “Mah Tevakesh?” – “What are you seeking?” Do you know?
This seemingly simple question carries a powerful message for all of us. Our lives are often filled with unexpected challenges and remarkable opportunities. Like Yosef, who endured being sold into slavery, falsely accused, and imprisoned, only to rise to become a viceroy in Egypt, we too can overcome adversity by maintaining our mental focus, untethered from negative, erroneous beliefs and irrational thoughts.
The key to “success” isn’t talent or luck, but unwavering commitment to our goals. Imagine a laser beam searching the land – focused, powerful, capable of cutting through the hardest obstacles. Similarly, when we know what we want and remain freely dedicated to our purpose, we can transform our challenges into stepping-stones. On the other side of the mountain lies a new set of opportunities…we are wise to be clear minded and focused enough to see them.
The Angel’s message to Yosef resonates across generations: Stay true to your vision. Pay attention. Be mindful. Be aware. Whether facing tremendous difficulties or unexpected success, never lose sight of your core purpose. “Mah Tevakesh” – keep asking yourself what you truly seek, and let that clarity guide you through life’s intricate journey.
In every moment of uncertainty, remember that focus is your most powerful tool. Your dreams, your integrity, and your determination can illuminate the path forward, turning wandering into purpose, and challenges into triumph.
In our fast-paced, hyperconnected world, we’ve lost the art of genuine self-reflection, of being able to answer, “Mah Tevakesh?” – “What are you seeking?”
What if you could carve out some time each day to truly connect with yourself to help visualize and illuminate that which you are seeking—no agenda, no expectations, just pure, unfiltered presence? Think of this hour as a personal reset button. It’s not meditation in the traditional sense, nor is it prayer or problem-solving. It’s a radical act of simply being. Imagine a space where:
– You can speak honestly about your day, your fears, your hopes
– Your inner dialogue becomes a conversation, not a judgment
– You listen to yourself without criticism
– You explore your thoughts and feelings without trying to fix anything
This practice isn’t about achieving something—it’s about being something, of being able to connect to that which you are seeking. A moment of radical self-acceptance, where you meet yourself exactly as you are, and with focus, to see your purpose.
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun.