By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
EL CAJON, California — In this week’s parsha, we encounter a profound lesson about life’s challenges and our power to shape how we respond to them. While the events of our lives are commonly beyond our control, the way we interpret them—and how we choose to react to them—are abilities within our own mind. This teaching echoes through the story of Joseph, who reinterprets the betrayal of his brothers as part of Hashem’s divine plan, and through Jacob, who blesses his children with wisdom. Both show us that by guiding our thoughts with intention, we can transform our emotional reality, aligning ourselves with a higher purpose. Our emotions, like our actions, are shaped by the meaning we attach to our experiences. After all, “the link is what you think.”
Joseph’s remarkable shift in perspective, along the lines of current cognitive behavioral change theory, teaches us a deep spiritual truth. In his words to his brothers, “It was not you who sent me here, but Hashem,” we witness a powerful reframing of the past. By choosing to see his brothers’ betrayal as part of a divine plan, Joseph untethers himself from the emotionally harmful grip of resentment and removes the burden of guilt from them. This transformation did not occur overnight; we cannot know if Joseph always understood the pain he endured as part of a divine purpose, or if this clarity came to him later in his life. What is clear, however, is his steadfast belief that his suffering had meaning—that even the most painful experiences were orchestrated by Hashem to bring about a greater good.
Joseph’s story teaches us that tragedy does not define us. Rather, we define ourselves by how we choose to interpret and respond to our suffering that shapes who we become. When we recognize life as a sacred journey, each challenge becomes a step toward fulfilling a higher purpose. Joseph’s ability to transcend the pain of betrayal and see it as part of a larger, divine narrative is a profound lesson in faith and trust. We thrive when we frame every challenge in our life as part of Hashem’s plan, designed to help us grow. There is nothing, nothing, that happens without His will. All darkness is his intentional design…what’s there to fear?
The moment after Jacob’s death brings a critical turning point. Joseph’s brothers, consumed by fear and guilt, worry that he will now exact revenge for their actions years earlier. Their concern reflects a common human tendency: to believe that past wrongs will inevitably be met with punishment. But Joseph responds with deep wisdom, saying, “You meant evil against me, but Hashem meant it for good.”
In this response, Joseph reveals an essential truth: events themselves are not inherently good or bad. It is our interpretation of them that determines their spiritual and emotional impact. The brothers could have seen Joseph’s words as an opportunity for vengeance, but Joseph instead chose to reinterpret their past actions as part of a divinely orchestrated plan for good. This teaches us a powerful lesson: the meaning we assign to the events of our lives shapes our emotional experience. By choosing to see life through the lens of divine purpose, we open ourselves to healing, growth, and peace.
How can we apply this lesson to our own lives? Joseph’s approach to life offers us a contemporary positive psychology and cognitive-behavioral model for cultivating resilience and faith in the face of adversity. It is easy to engage in ritual observance—attending shul, davening, giving tzedakah—but when faced with challenges in health, career, relationships, or finances, do we bring Joseph’s emunah (faith) into our thoughts and actions? Joseph’s unwavering trust in Hashem’s plan, his understanding that he is not the sole author of his life, and his deep belief that every challenge was part of a divine purpose, enabled him to move forward free of resentment, anger, or despair. To thrive and not just survive, to bring joy and meaning, purpose, blessing and fulfillment into your life, it is essential to learn from Joseph and take a positive view anchored in emunah in every step in life.
This kind of emunah is not passive; it is an active mindset choice to see beyond the surface and trust that every experience, no matter how difficult, is part of a larger, benevolent plan. It is through this faith that we can face the trials of life with courage and serenity, knowing that every challenge is an opportunity for growth and transformation.
In addition to Joseph’s model of faith, we learn from Jacob the strength of humility and commitment to truth. Jacob’s koach habitul (the power of self-nullification) and his koach hatzemicha (the power to help others grow) allowed him to transform not only his own life, but the lives of his children and his entire family. Jacob understood that true strength lies in the ability to recognize one’s own actual limitations, while also having the wisdom and compassion to nurture others and help them flourish.
Jacob’s example teaches us the profound importance of self-compassion—not as an end, but as a means of serving others. By tending to our own spiritual well-being, we are better equipped to be a source of strength and growth for those around us. This is the true essence of leadership in the Torah: to humbly serve others and help them realize their own potential.
One of the greatest spiritual tools we learn from the Torah is the practice of mindfulness—the ability to be present with our emotions without being controlled by them. While we cannot control the actions of others, we can control how we think about and respond to them. We can healthily choose to release resentment, acknowledge our hurt, and then let it pass. This is not about suppressing our feelings but about allowing them to flow through us without dominating our thoughts or actions, or harming our emotional wellbeing.
The Torah teaches us that while life is governed by Hashem, we are also granted bechirah chofshit—free will. This means that we have the power to choose how we respond to life’s challenges. We can unhealthily choose to hold onto negativity or to release it. We can choose peace, even during turmoil. The freedom to choose our responses is one of the greatest gifts we possess.
As we prepare to transition from the book of Bereshit to the book of Shemot, we carry with us the teachings of tikkun olam—the divine mandate to heal and repair the world. Through reconciliation, understanding, and compassion, we can transform our relationships and the world around us. May we learn to view our lives through the lens of Divine purpose, to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth, and to choose faith, humility, and peace as our guiding principles.
This Shabbat, we say, Chazak Chazak V’Nitchazeik—“Be strong, be strong, and we will be strengthened.” Let us take these words to heart, knowing that true strength comes from embracing our Divine purpose in every moment, and living with the faith that we are always moving toward a higher good. Vayechi, after all, means “he lived”—a reminder that life, even in its challenges, is always a path of growth and transformation.
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun.