My Mother Always Says: 25 Lessons for Finding the Silver Lining by Amy Goober and Gwen Borden; Woburn, MA: Drive Your Life Publishing; © 2025; ISBN 9798992-268409; 153 pages; Amazon $19.95.
LA MESA, California – There are no bad experiences in life, just the ones we don’t learn from. Such is a lesson Gwen Borden, now 93 years old as of March 2025 has lived her life and has taught her daughter Amy Goober.
Borden believes that if you can relabel your “bad” experiences, they will become valuable steps on your journey, helping you to navigate the learning curve of your life.
The chapters start with the voice of Borden and her story of her upbringing during World War II. When she was born, her older sister Hiliare was diagnosed with polio and back in the 1930’s, there was no cure. So, they followed the Kelly method which was an experimental treatment that involved rigorous movement in warm water in the bathtub. The Bathtub Brigade was started. Borden was passed from neighbor to neighbor as her parents were more involved in helping Hiliare rid herself of the disease.
She made a full recovery but as World War II was going on, her parents went to work which left the girls in an empty, quiet and dark home due to the mandatory black outs.
Goober explains in each chapter how knowledge of these events helped to shape her life and make her the mother she is today.
As Borden grew up and went to high school and college, she was more advanced than students her age. She met and married her husband in the 1950’s. She was encouraged to not work and raise a family. She loved teaching so much so that when she became pregnant, she worked into her ninth month.
Borden’s son Bill started stuttering and a psychologist advised her to stop working and spend time with him. The stuttering went away.
Borden’s husband Seymour was diagnosed with a brain tumor and died when her children were in their teens. Borden was in her 40’s and as her children were being admitted to college, she also applied to the Master of Social Work program at Adelphi University.
During Borden’s time in her master’s studies, she put together a counseling program for a bereavement center. The initiative took off and Borden had to hire staff. In the aftermath of 9/11, her office was overwhelmed with grief counseling to all the many family members that lost loved ones.
This book provides many “Lessons Learned” to look at the past and to apply to the future.
There is no parenting book when you become a parent. As Borden learned by having absent parents, she and her second husband George decided to move closer to Goober’s family to be more present.
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Cailin Acosta is the assistant editor of the San Diego Jewish World.