Words must be chosen carefully in international affairs

The little boy said, “Sure, Uncle. Here’s how it goes: I broke a toy in Illinois . . .”

It’s one thing when a child makes an error, but it’s quite another matter when diplomats or leaders choose the wrong word in expressing an important communication with another government. A single gaffe can lead to a war!  Human language can be awkward at times. The terms we use to express a specific thought can alter the way others perceive our intentions.  

This problem is especially the case when we use the word “apologize,” and “regret.” A thesaurus will indicate that they are synonyms, but are they really? Are there subtle semantic and cultural differences between these two words? Actually, the history of these two expressions is much more nuanced than one might think—even conflictive with some of our more contemporary notions.

In an earlier article, we discussed the question that pundits have been discussing all week. Was President Obama correct for “apologizing” to the Afghan President for the accidental burning of the Qur’an? Or should he have simply said, “I regret the accidental burning of the Qur’an . . .”?

This question has come up in different guises in American history. For example: On July 3, 1988, President Reagan expresses regret to Iran over the U.S. downing of an Iranian passenger jet over the Persian Gulf that killed all 290 persons aboard. At the time, the Iranians had used an old transponder from a scrapped F-14, which the Iranians used for the airliner. American radar experts assumed it was an enemy airplane that was about to make a dangerous assault. Had relations between Iran and the US been positive at the time, it is doubtful whether the US would have downed the jet. However, the relations were very tense because of the Ayatollah Khomeini swore he would destroy the Great Satan—the United States.

By expressing “regret,” President Reagan made it clear he was sorry about the loss of human life, but he did not apologize for sending downing the plane, which he perceived to be a security threat to American lives.

More recently, when the Turkish passengers attacked the Israeli military after they landed on the ill-fated Flotilla, Israelis felt compelled to defend their lives through lethal force. Nine lives were lost. Turkey demanded that Israel apologize, but instead, Israel expressed regret. “… Israel expresses its regret over the loss of life, but will not apologize for its soldiers taking action to defend their lives. As any other state, Israel has the right to defend its civilians and soldiers…”

In contemporary society and in the international arena, the term “apology” has a more humbling connotation than the expression, “regret.” In the common usage, regret is a cogent response to something that has unexpectedly occurred—especially something that has produced unpleasant and unintended consequence that one has little or no control over.  One can feel regret over actions that one had to take, but nevertheless produced unfortunate consequences. Under such circumstances, had the offending party realized what s/he/they were up against, that party would have taken a decidedly different course of action. In real life, airline personnel can express regret that there are mechanical problems because of poor weather conditions, resulting in the cancellation of a flight. However, one would not expect them to “apologize” for the mechanical problems.

Apology on a psychological level deals with the problem of an emotional hurt. By apologizing, one is expressing both guilt and shame for causing pain to another. It involves taking complete ownership of the problem and the unintended consequences that ensued as a result of the misdeed. Without this degree of shamefulness for one’s deed, the issue will seem to the offending party as though the problem remains unresolved. Apologizing in this sense exposes oneself to being vulnerable to the demands of the Other.

With respect to the Flotilla tragedy, were Israel to give in to what the Turkish government wants  by immediately ending the Israeli blockade of Gaza, the Palestinians would consider this as a green light to bring in even more dangerous missiles, which they would direct toward Israel and her citizens. In such an instance, the act of “apologizing” would have disastrous consequences for everyone in the region.

Since there was no loss of life in the accidental burning of the Qur’an, it seems that the President should have used the language of regret instead of “apologizing” to the Muslim world. Not all Muslims are fanatics, and the vast majority of Muslims would have appreciated the President expressing “regret.” Nobody really expected an apology.  Surely, there was nothing the President could have said that would placate the Taliban fanatics, who were looking for any excuse to restart their reign of terror over the hapless Afghani people. In retrospect, the incident was too trite for an American President to personally get involved. The matter should have been delegated to either the military personal in charge of the US forces, or perhaps the Secretary of State.

The etymology of words reveals something that this writer did not expect. For example, the etymology of “regret” derives from the Old French word, regreter, “long after, bewail, lament someone’s death,” or, “to remember with distress or longing.” The Old French verb may also be related to the Old English verb, grætan, “to weep,” or “groan.” This noun was first recorded back in 1530. Regret for the last several hundreds of years denoted a distress of mind and intense sorrow for things that one had failed to do (omission), or did (commission).

• Linguistic Ironies

According to Jastrow’s Aramaic Dictionary, חרטה connotes the same meaning as “regret,” mentioned above. Vows are nullified only if the person regrets having made them in the first place (BT Niddah 31b). In Greek, the term μετάνοια (metánoia) conveys the idea of deep remorse that leads to a profound change in the life of the individual, “turning a new leaf,” so to speak.

The etymology of apology is especially striking. Apology derives from the Greek ἀπολογία, (apo+logia = an account, or story from speech), meaning, “a speech that is made in legal defense.”  Hence, ἀπολογέομαι (apologeomai) is a speech that one makes in defense of oneself. In the classical literature, one of Plato’s (and Xenophon’s) great works is “The Apology,” which narrates the famous trial of Socrates and his spirited defense. This usage is also reflected in the old word, apologetics, which is a theological form of discourse that instructs the believer to defend one’s belief. The usual meaning of apologia has no relevance in the classical literature that it now has in the English and European languages. It does not denote an acquiescence to matters of guilt—quite the opposite!

• A Possible Prolegomena to a Religiously Sane   World

In summary, words are charged with power and meaning. The ancients believed words could alter the shape of the world. Although we no longer ascribe such magical power to words that the ancients once did, nevertheless—how we use words in expressing apologies and regrets for actions and consequences that one could not foresee serves to make communication clearer and honest for all people and nations wishing to strive for a better understanding of the Other.

Although the burning of the Qur’an is regrettable (in the modern sense mentioned above), its desecration pales in comparison to the fanatics who have used this accident to murder in the name of God. Imam Abdullah Antepli, who is the Muslim Chaplain for Duke University, offers these healing words that need to be taken to heart by all faiths:

• These violent reactions of yours really do not make   sense on many different fronts. For any Muslim who believes the sacredness of   the Quran as God’s final revelation to humanity, that very same Quran condemns   and rejects such anarchy in many of her verses and teachings. First of all,  the Quran invites us to respect and engage with her divine message more so than the actual physical form of the book that is found between two covers.   Respecting a physical copy of Quran could be understandable, but violating its  central teachings and principles–for example by killing innocent people–just   because someone disrespected or insulted a copy of the Quran is unacceptable,   barbaric and reprehensible. No physical copy of a holy scripture, including   the Quran, is more sacred than the life of a human being. This is what the Quran and our beloved prophet, whom the Quran came through, teaches us over  and over.
  
• Secondly, what do many Muslims throughout the Muslim world do when the copies of the Quran get really worn down and become  unusable? We burn them! Yes, you didn’t read it wrong: It is a common Muslim   practice to respectfully burn old Qurans when they are no longer reparable. It is proclaimed all over the world, including Afghanistan, in many different   interpretations of Islamic law that this is an honorable farewell to these old  copies of the Quran. So how do you justify your shameless reactions to Quran burning?
  
• Moreover, these unacceptable and indefensible responses only serve to confirm the fabricated, monstrous and scary image of Islam as a religion and Muslims as a people to the fearful world. I really don’t understand how my fellow Muslims do not see that, with their reactions, they actually prove what has been said about them by their enemies. You call my religion evil or terrorism and, in order to “disprove” this insult, I will go   kill people, burn embassies, act like a bloodthirsty crazy person…. Don’t you fellow Muslims see the ridiculousness of this logic and actions! The   uncivilized images of these violent protests by these irresponsible and violent Muslims shape the image of 1.6 billion Muslims all around the world.   These images are so powerful that even education and exposure to real Islam later on is unable to remove these images from the hearts and minds of many  non-Muslims. [1]

This is the message that needs to be broadcasted to the Muslim community over the airwaves and through all channels of the media.

Expressions of apology or regret from well-meaning politicians cannot have the same impact that the words of a fellow-Muslim can have—if only we learned to transmit this message properly. The power of spoken words can transform the chaos of our world into a peaceful cosmos. If we want to actualize the possibility of peace in the Middle East and beyond, we need to use our powers of persuasion more effectively than our power of coercion, which will always fall short of the mark.

• “Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace”—Buddha

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Notes:

[1] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/imam-abdullah-antepli/an-open-letter-to-violent_b_1306579.html