By Cynthia Citron
SANTA MONICA, California — There were a lot of f-words in the Oscar-winning movie Sideways. And I’m not talking alliteration here. But the words were somehow mitigated by the dazzling scenery of the California wine country and the luminous performances of Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church.
In Sideways The Play, however, the f-word and its permutations nearly take over the play. It’s virtually the same script, adapted by playwright Rex Pickett from his original novel, but somehow in C.J. Strawn’s cramped stage setting it loses much of its brio—like a vintage wine that is never opened.
The story takes place in a series of California wineries, differentiated onstage by having their tasting-bars shoved back and forth and their signage and wine-servers changed. (The male wine-servers, who don’t have much to say, are all distinctively droll and delightfully cast.)
The female wine-servers, however, are another story, and they have lots to say. And they say it to Jack (Jonathan Bray), a soon-to-be-married actor, and his best man Miles (John Colella), who have wandered north from L.A. for a last bachelor fling before the wedding.
Miles, a writer waiting to hear if his first novel will make it to publication, is a worrywart, but a first-class wine connoisseur. Jack is just a first-class bastard.
The two of them work well together under the careful direction of Amelia Mulkey, but their scenes could stand a little judicious snipping. They are repetitive and, at some points, draggy and over-long. A plot this simple doesn’t really require two and a half hours of exposition.
Miles’ mission on this trip is to keep the philandering Jack out of trouble. Jack’s mission is to see that Miles gets laid, as he has been celibate for two years, since his divorce from the woman he still loves.
So here come the two female wine-servers. Maya (Julia McIlvaine) is a classy, intelligent blonde who had a friendly relationship with Miles before she married and divorced someone else. Terra (Cloe Kromwell) is a raven-haired spitfire who climbs into Jack’s pants before he can even take them off.
And so the adventure begins. Jack, who has convinced Terra that he is in love with her, spends his time in an ongoing orgy. Miles, who finds himself attracted to Maya, continues to pine for his former wife. No orgies for him.
Although the outcome is predictable, the dialogue is funny and fun. And, when discussing wine, downright poetic. Consider this exchange, as Maya asks Miles why he is so “into Pinot.” He responds:
“Uh, I don’t know, I don’t know. It’s a hard grape to grow, as you know. Right? It’s thin-skinned, temperamental, ripens early. It’s not a survivor like Cabernet, which can just grow anywhere and thrive even when it’s neglected. No, Pinot needs constant care and attention. You know? And in fact it can only grow in these really specific, little tucked away corners of the world. And only the most patient and nurturing of growers can do it, really. Only somebody who really takes the time to understand Pinot’s potential can then coax it into its fullest expression. Then, I mean, oh its flavors, they’re just the most haunting and brilliant and thrilling and subtle and… ancient on the planet.”
You can’t rhapsodize about wine much better than that.
Sideways will continue at the Ruskin Group Theatre, 3000 Airport Road in Santa Monica, Fridays and Saturdays at 8 p.m. and Sundays at through July 22nd. Call (310) 397-3244. And if you’re over 21, the price of the ticket includes a lovely wine tasting. Salud!
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Citron is Los Angeles bureau chief for San Diego Jewish World. She may be contacted at cynthia.citron@sdjewishworld.com