By Sheryl Rowling
Sheryl asked me to do the column for her this time because “this year, Passover falls right in the busiest part of tax season!” I said to her, “Why is this year different from any other year?” That girl has no sense of humor these days …
Dear Passover Fairy,
I’m trying to write a seasonal song for my new comedy album. I had a big hit with my Hanukkah song (maybe you’ve heard it?). I must admit – I felt like a genius coming up with “yarmulke” to rhyme with “Hanukkah.” But, I can’t figure out a good word to rhyme with Passover! Can you help?
Anxiously, Adam S.
Dear Adam,
Some genius you are! Maybe after you drink four glasses of wine, you’ll think of rhyming “hangover” with Passover!
Dear Passover Fairy,
It seems like such a shame to waste that glass of wine in the middle of the table. Is there any reason why I shouldn’t drink it?
Cheerfully, Chelsea H.
Dear Chelsea,
Lately, Chelsea, I just don’t get you! You have a successful show and lots of money. I bet you can afford to buy yourself as much wine as you want. The glass in the middle is for Elijah. He only gets one cup. You get four!
Dear Passover Fairy,
I need some advice. Whenever I ask the four questions at the Seder table, people cry. How can I put a stop to this?
Bewilderedly, Barbara W.
Dear Barbara,
Those people crying are the kids! The youngest person at the table is supposed to ask the four questions, not the oldest!
Dear Passover Fairy,
I have an issue with dipping my finger in wine. Is it ok to wear rubber gloves?
Hesitantly, Howie M.
Dear Howie,
Wine won’t damage your skin, Howie! But, if you’re really afraid, why don’t you try spilling little drops instead of dipping your finger?
Dear Passover Fairy,
Can we talk? I thought this was supposed to be a financial column. The kind of advice you’re giving I could get from Dr. Phil! PUH-LEAZE! How about some useful advice, like how can I write off my Passover Seder?
Judgmentally, Joan R.
Dear Joan,
Let’s face it Joan. You’re not going to cook! So, instead of putting on a Seder at home, just write a check to Mazon. Then, you can write that off as a charitable contribution. How’s that for financial advice?! (Mazon is a Jewish response to hunger dedicated to preventing and alleviating hunger among people of all faiths and backgrounds. Please see www.mazon.org.)
Well, Sheryl might be busy with tax returns, but preparing for Passover takes more than just waving my magic wand! Happy Passover to all of you!
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Editor’s Note: Rowling is a certified public accountant, personal finance specialist, and principal of Rowling & Associates. She may be contacted at sheryl.rowling@sdjewishworld.com As for the Passover fairy, who can say? Some even think she/he may be imaginary!
Thanks!
What fun!