Spin Your Web by Damona Hoffman, WaterfrontDigitalPress.com, 2013, 978-1-939116-16-1, 89 pgs., $9.95
By Eva Trieger
SAN DIEGO — Being a confirmed bachelorette, I was all set to debunk Damona Hoffman’s book on Internet dating. However just a few pages into it, I realized I have to give credit where credit is due. This author/researcher has really done her homework! The book is largely a recipe book for online dating. “Mrs. D”, a known columnist and radio personality, delineates the steps necessary to select and navigate an online dating service to achieve your personal goals….whether it is casual dating or marriage.
Many of the tip filled chapters are followed by a survey, worksheet or checklist to help the wannabe dater refine his/her goals and gauge the appropriateness of the date in question. This approach may seem somewhat clinical and less “touchy feely” but this Online dating guru admonishes us to “date like it’s your job.”
Dating websites are wisely categorized to aid the naïve in selecting a mass-market site, a compatibility site, or a niche site, JDate, for example. This observation impressed me very much. Having had the pleasure, and I use the word very loosely, of experimenting on a few of the sites myself, I was made to see these distinctions in a way I had not before. Had I read this handy guide, I could have saved myself a few headaches and a couple of lousy dates!
I had the good fortune to speak with Damona Hoffman via the telephone, and she filled me in on her own history. Damona was born to an African American mother and a Russian Jewish father. She was introduced to both cultures, but when she moved nearer her dad’s family, Jewish rituals and practices became more familiar.
I queried, how had Mrs. Hoffman become an expert in the field? She offered her early experiences. In her twenties, while working for a divorcee, Damona was told that her dating selections needing fine tuning. She was interested in meeting “quality” guys and her boss felt that she could do better. Once she availed herself of online dating, her appointments tripled! This experience boosted her self esteem, and caused her to expand her horizons and trust her sociability. In short order, Damona met and married a Jewish man she’d met online.
Hoffman provides very good suggestions about writing an attractive profile, selecting your photos, and even choosing screen names that will assist Mr. or Ms. Lonely Heart in snaring his or her soul mate. And she doesn’t leave you there…Dear Mrs. D further instructs the dater how to proceed after the online part of the dating ends and the face to face dating begins.
From supplying a list of topics of conversations, to date venues, to what to wear ideas, the now savvy suitor is cautioned about pacing the engagements to avoid the pitfalls of acting in haste. Ms. Hoffman knows whereof she speaks. Dear Mrs. D followed her own advice in spinning her web and is now happily married to the man of her dreams whom she met online! Who am I to nay say? If it’s worked for Damona Hoffman, why can’t it work for you?
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Trieger is a freelance writer based in San Diego. She may be contacted at eva.trieger@sdjewishworld.com