By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO — After enacting its ban on the promotion of homosexuality, Russia is defying demands to change its policy or face a boycott of the upcoming Winter Olympics there. Putin has dug his heels in and renamed St. Petersburg St. Burg because the mere mention of peters is too homosexually suggestive. Similarly, he has forbidden the playing of any songs by Barbra Streisand, Cher, and the Village People as background for figure-skating routines. Due to poor translation, Putin thinks a boycott means the host country has to provide a boy on a cot in the dorm rooms of male athletes. In a related story, Pope Francis has prohibited Catholic priests from attending the Olympics in such a judgmental country.
Jobs, the biographical movie about the founder of Apple, opened this past weekend. Although it has been panned by most critics, theatres in cities with high unemployment rates have been swamped with people submitting their resumes at the box office.
The Republican National Committee announced that it would not let CNN or NBC to broadcast the Republican primary debates in 2016 to protest the decision of those two networks to air programs about Hillary Clinton. The RNC also plans to choose conservative-friendly moderators for the debates. The RNC will schedule all the debates on Fox News and has narrowed its list of potential moderators down to Clint Eastwood on the proviso that he stick to the questions prepared for him by the National Review and not pose any questions to empty chairs), Larry the Cable Guy, Rush Limbaugh, Ted Nugent, or Wayne LaPierre.
With enormous debts, a dwindling tax base, and high entitlement costs, Detroit has declared bankruptcy. John Boehner saw the Detroit action as an attractive alternative to funding Obama Care and has renamed his new piece of legislation to shut down the Federal government “Chapter 7: The Unaffordable Health Care Act.”
Ryan Braun alleged that the man who collected his urine sample which tested positive for elevated testosterone levels was an anti-Semite and a Chicago Cubs fan. Many Jewish Cubs fans have reminded Braun of the natural affinity between Jews and Cubs who have a common history of suffering and waiting for the messiah.
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Baron is a freelance writer based in San Diego. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com