Humoring the Headlines: November 24, 2013

Some songs for Chanukah

Lawrence (Laurie) Baron
Lawrence (Laurie) Baron

By Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO― Afghanistan (Tune: Oh Hanukah)

Afghanistan, Afghanistan,
Your future is certain.   .
Our troops will defend you
To profit Haliburton.

There’s no more Osama,
To terrorize our land.
But President Obama
Still fears the Taliban.

And while we are fighting,
Iran is enriching its core.
For domestic power, or something more dour,
For peace or for nuclear war?

Barack of First-Term (Tune: Rock of Ages)
Barack of first-term, please return.
We need your inspiration.
Health care for the sick and poor,
Investment in our nation.
Furiously they slandered you.
And Tea Party pandered you.

Then their votes won the House
And gridlock paralyzed us.
Then their votes won the House
And gridlock paralyzed us.

Barack of first-term, there was hope.
And I for one was smitten.
Lame duck that you’ve become,
I can’t wait for Mrs. Clinton.
Furiously they slandered you.
And Tea Party pandered you.
Then their votes won the House
With gridlock paralyzing us.
Then their votes won the House
With gridlock paralyzing us.

The Radel Song (Tune: The Dreidel Song)
Congressman Trey Radel
Snorts coke to get his amps.
And when he’s high and ready,
He drug tests for food stamps.
Oh Radel, Radel, Radel,
Don’t miss your voting call.
And when you’re high and ready.
Blame it on alcohol.
We can be forgiving
For personal abuse.
But your double standard
Merits no excuse.

Oh, Radel, Radel, Radel
After you have scored.
Go across the border
And smoke with Mayor Ford.

*
Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He may be contacted at lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com