By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO―The White House has demanded that North Korea release Merrill Newman because he is 85 years old and in poor health. Joe Biden has been dispatched there to negotiate Newman’s freedom and is allegedly willing to trade two healthy forty-two year olds for the ailing Newman.
*
Amazon has announced that it is testing drones to deliver products to its customers’ homes. Shoppers in Pakistan and Yemen were delighted to hear that they soon will have a safe alternative to purchasing bombs from the CIA arsenal.
*
Walmart has announced plans to buy the new Amazon drones to police its stores on Black Friday next year. .
*
In an ecumenical gesture, the cast of Duck Dynasty celebrated Thanksgivukkah by frying nine wild turkeys until they exploded in unison to light up the night sky. One of the program’s stars commented, “That’s one way to knock the stuffing out of those old birds!”
*
Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted at lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com