By Donald H. Harrison
SAN DIEGO — Leslie Weening, a 30-year employee at the Jewish Federation of San Diego who rose to the position of assistant to the executive director, was memorialized Wednesday, Feb. 12, in the sanctuary of Tifereth Israel Synagogue, where she had been a longtime member. Weening had died of a heart ailment on Sunday, Feb 9, at age 70,
In eulogizing her, Rabbi Leonard Rosenthal said Weening was “a pillar of strength” who had “very strong opinions which she never hesitated to share, but she also had this incredibly strong love. You not only knew what was on Leslie’s mind–because she was open and honest in every situation–but she wore her heart on her sleeve.”
The current director of the Jewish Federation, Michael Sonduck, joined that organization in 2004 as a consultant and worked with Weening until 2008 when she retired. “Having Leslie working with you was like working for Leslie,” Sonduck recalled with an appreciative smile. “Leslie was the heart and soul of the Federation for more than 30 years. Through countless changes, successes and failures, Leslie saw her job as not just doing her job. She saw her job as making sure that the place was run right, making sure that donors were getting served, making sure that we were doing what we were supposed to be doing in the community, as she saw it.
“You could always trust that regardless of whether you agreed or disagreed, here was a person who had the best interest of the community at heart as she saw it, and she didn’t mind telling you what she saw,” said Sonduck. “And she didn’t mind telling you who was who, what was what, and the way it was
supposed to be!”
In a similar vein, Rabbi Rosenthal said when he first came to San Diego he learned that if “I needed information about anyone, or needed anything done, Leslie was the one to call–whether it was her responsibility or not.”
Steve Abramson, who was Leslie’s boss for 25 years while serving as the executive director of the Federation from 1981 to 2005, said Weening “was a fount of knowledge about San Diego and the Federation. Whenever someone barely remembered something that happened a year before or ten years before, she would know it. I think that was why she liked elephants so much, because she had a great memory.”
Abramson’s reference to elephants was to the fact that Weening had collected elephant tschotkes for most of her life–pins, ceramics, designs–and when she took up quilting in her retirement, one of her favorite quilts had an elephant in its design. Her children, Lisa and Seth, decided to bury that quilt with her at Miramar National Cemetery in a grave next to that of her long-time husband, Steve Weening. And granddaughter Hayley Kolinsky announced during the memorial service that she had just arranged to “adopt” an elephant at the San Diego Zoo in honor of her grandmother, whom she and her sister Jenna always called “bubbe.”
Abramson told an interviewer that in his job as executive director, he was expected to recognize people when he saw them, but with hundreds of people dealing with the Federation, he sometimes was stumped. Weening, however, had a steel-trap memory and would save him from embarrassment by quietly whispering their names as they approached. “Leslie saved me more times than I can count.” he said.
In her career, Weening helped move the Federation into the computer age and took pride in helping to develop its very first website. Few people knew that Weening as a child had undiagnosed dyslexia, which caused her difficulties in reading and comprehension. Some of her teachers and other adults told her that she was not bright–a hurtful diagnosis, which Weening at the time internalized. But later the dyslexia was diagnosed, and as an adult she proved the naysayers wrong, and thrived on educating herself about computers and the world. In the same sanctuary where the memorial service was held, Weening participated in an adult bat mitzah ceremony, one of the more emotional achievements of her life, Rabbi Rosenthal said.
The Federation was so appreciative of Weening’s work that it sent her to Israel twice , once on a mission along with Federation members, and another time on a private vacation, Rosenthal said. The rabbi added that Weening was devoted to the Jewish people and to Judaism.
Born in Yonkers, New York, she was the youngest of three children, and was a teenager when the family moved to San Diego.
She had been widowed and had a 4-year-old daughter when she first met her husband Steven at a Jewish singles event. The couple later became members of the now defunct Congregation Beth Tefilah, where Lisa had her bat mitzvah. Afterwards they joined another Conservative congregation, Tifereth Israel Synagogue, where Seth had his bar mitzvah. In addition to her other affiliations, Weening was a member of ORT — the Organization for Rehabilitation and Training, which lends occupational assistance to the impoverished of many countries.
Volunteering and fundraising for ORT were the activities Sharon Thomas and Leslie Weening shared when they first met, Thomas recalled. On one occasion, Weening confided that she had met Steve Weening at the singles organization and inquired of Sharon Thomas whether she knew him. Thomas responded that she hadn’t met Steve, but knew his brother David who went to Mount Miguel High School and had competed against her Crawford High School team in debate tournaments. David attended the memorial service.
“When it was time for them (Leslie and Steve) to get married,” Thomas related, “she wanted a house wedding — she didn’t want to get married in a hall or a synagogue or anything like that, so she got married in my home in San Carlos (a neighborhood of San Diego).” Friends held a tallit up to serve as the Weenings’ chuppah.
Thomas and Weening remained friends for 40 years up to her death. In retirement, they were neighbors at the same mobile park. They also were fellow members of the Red Hatters — a club for women over the age of 50 who get together for a good time, and wear red or purple hats for the occasions. “Our last outing we did the Old Town Trolley Tour around San Diego,” recalled Thomas.
Jackie Tolley, director of Hillel at San Diego State University, recalled during a reception following the memorial service, that her husband, Mark Berger, in his capacity as Federation’s planning director during the late 1970s was the man who had hired Weening.
Over the years, the families stayed in touch. “I was at Seth’s bris,” Tolley recalled, and then years later, when Seth was a student at Grossmont College, “we took him on Birthright to Israel, so it is a long history.”
Leslie Weening “was just this warm, wonderful presence, a straight shooter,” Tolley said. “You could always trust Leslie to be honest with you.”
Besides by her children and granddaughters, Weening is survived by her son-in-law, Darren Kolinsky, who described her during the memorial service as “strong, bold, opinionated and extremely loving.” After he, Lisa, Jenna and Hayley moved to Los Angeles, he said, “she never felt far away; she was always up to date and up to speed on what was going on in our lives, and that always gave me a nice feeling.”
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Harrison is editor of San Diego Jewish World. He may be contacted at donald.harrison@sdjewishworld.com