By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO-Governor Bill Haslam of Tennessee signed legislation authorizing the use of the electric chair if lethal injections are not available for implementing the death sentence. He assured critics of electrocution that the procedure will be administered in a progressive manner employing green energy sources and wireless technology and permitting the condemned to send a last 140 character tweet.
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FBI Director James Comey backed away from his statement that he was considering hiring marijuana smokers if they were skilled at investigating hacking. Supporters of the idea urged him to reconsider since smoking pot hasn’t disqualified anyone from being president.
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Iran arrested six people for singing Pharrell Williams’ song “Happy” on a video that has gone viral internationally on the internet. Although Iran subsequently released all but the director of the video, the chief of the morality police reiterated, “It is illegal to be happy in the Islamic Republic!” *
At a press conference John Boehner justified his refusal to let the House vote on immigration reform by noting that he doesn’t trust President Obama because he has postponed the implementation of some of the provisions of the Affordable Health Care Act. When asked if this was a non-sequitur, he explained that he also opposes raising the minimum wage fearing it would increase the salaries of undocumented aliens working in the United States if he ever relented and allowed the House to vote on immigration reform.
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Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban apologized to Trayvon Martin’s parents for his comment that he would move to the other side of a street if he saw “”a black kid in a hoodie” walking towards him. In the interim George Zimmerman contacted Cuban in the hope of getting hired by him as a bodyguard.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com