Humoring the Headlines: June 16, 2014

By Laurie Baron

Lawrence (Laurie) Baron
Lawrence (Laurie) Baron

SAN DIEGO―Rick Perry recently asserted, “I may have the genetic coding that I’m inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way.” In other words not indulging an addiction to alcohol and a sexual attraction to members of your own gender are the same thing with one big difference: the former can lead to isolation and death and the latter to a relationship and the love of your life.

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A new medical study from Harvard finds that women who eat too much red meat have a greater risk of getting breast cancer than women who do not. McDonald’s must now decide if it will open Ronald McDonald Houses for children to reside at while visiting their mothers in hospital oncology wards.

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Neoconservatives who formerly advised President Bush have blamed President Obama for precipitating the current crisis in Iraq by withdrawing American troops from the country. They warn that if Obama does not militarily intervene soon to avert the defeat of the Shiite-dominated Maliki government, then ISIS might capture Iranian personnel who possibly may be in possession of weapons of mass destruction sometime in the near future.

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The IRS reports that it has lost the emails of Lois Lerner, the official accused of denying tax-exempt status to organizations affiliated with the Tea Party. Investigators into the disappearance of this evidence have learned that Lerner received her training in record keeping from the Rose Mary Woods School of Clerical Cover-Ups.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com.  San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.

1 thought on “Humoring the Headlines: June 16, 2014”

  1. I understand that this is satire, yet it is also informative. Perhaps I’ve just been under a rock as I didn’t know about Rick Perry’s comments listed above. All I’ve got to say about that is “Oy vey!”

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