By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO-President Obama dispatched 300 military advisors to Iraq to bolster the Maliki government. When Obama’s press secretary was asked what the advisors will be doing, he replied they will be advising Iraqi soldiers which on-line courses to take to learn what real soldiers do in combat.
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Pope Francis excommunicated all members of the Mafia. A representative of the Mafia said the Pope’s action did not concern him since the Mafia runs the concessions, rides, and torments of Hell.
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Rian Johnson, the director of Breaking Bad, has been chosen to direct episode 8 of Star Wars. In this sequel Luke Skywalker peddles Crystal Meth to Ewoks. Grand Jedi Master Yoda cooks the drug to perfection. He turned permanently green the first time he snorted it. Since then, he promises potential customers that the force can be with them too.
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The Sudanese woman sentenced to death for converting to Christianity has been freed. When interviewed about the reversal of her sentence, she expressed impatience over having to wait for her eternal life to begin
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The University of South Florida Library introduced a program to loan drones to students. What it neglected to publicize is that it also will be deploying drones to track down borrowers with overdue books.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.