By Carol Davis
SAN DIEGO–I don’t know when the words ” Oy Vey” made it into mainstream vernacular. It really doesn’t matter. It is often said in so many matter of fact situations that unless you just landed from another planet you would know in essence, if not in fact what it means.
I was weaned on the phrase. From the time I could understand English, some Yiddish, it was a staple in my house like gefilte fish. It’s not unusual for me now to experience Oy Vey situations in almost every decision I have to make that’s unpleasant, hard to do or just plain a pain. Conversely silly, embarrassing and oft times funny times can and should be Oy Vey moments as well. In other words Oy Vey can be applied to anything or anyone you want it to.
It’s no surprise then, that Russian Director Evgeny Afineevsky would title his gay, romantic, film comedy Oy Vey! My Son is Gay! starring none other than the very typically Jewish Lainie Kazan as Shirley (the Mom) and Saul Rubinek as Martin (the Dad) when they learn son Nelson (Nelson?) announces to his parents that he is gay. You see what I mean by Oy Vey situations?
The story takes place in one of the wealthy Burroughs of Long Island. It seems that every Friday night, Shirley and Martin invite yet another Jewish girl to meet their son, who is still single, and look at her as a potential daughter in law. Needless to say Nelson is a bit fed up with the charade but doesn’t have the nerve to tell his parents that he is both gay and has a special someone.
And here comes another Oy Vey situation! When Nelson finally does tell his parents that he is seeing someone, they insist he invite ‘her’ to Shabbat dinner so they can meet ‘her’. Shirley, all ferklempt that their son has a special someone, now wonders if that someone is even Jewish, or white for that matter.
Needless to say the whole film is booby-trapped with OY Vey moments not just for the parents but for almost everyone they and their son’s come in contact with like Nelson’s gorgeous neighbor Sybil (Carmen Electra) who is the centerfold star of a porno magazine. When Shirley pays a surprise visit to Nelson’s apartment and finds Sybil there she assumes Sybil their son’s ‘special friend’. And when Sybil visits Martin at his work, oy vey!
To say that this is a journey for just Nelson (John Lloyd Young) and his boyfriend Angelo (Jai Rodriguez) would be an understatement. Shirley and Martin get themselves into some pretty bizarre situations by first trying to conceal the fact that their son is gay from their family and then by trying to see what the gay life is like with a visit by Martin to a gay bar. Far fetched? Very! But it scored some funny points.
But the parallel story is the real story of what acceptance looks like from both sets of parents’ points of view (and there are some funny and touching moments) as well as the for young men themselves coming to grips with their being an out couple in today’s world.
Its too bad Afineevsky muddied the waters with so much stereotypical goulash when the real facts can stand on their own. Family ties and love of children are strong bonds and even outing oneself doesn’t break that bond. Underneath all the frantic comings and goings is a good story.
To say the acting was award winning would be stretching a point. It was fun, some good points were made and it is certainly a beginning especially now that being gay, coming out and adopting children is just the tip of the iceberg. Next, repeal ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and make marriage a legal state contract between consenting adults.
OyVey! My Son is Gay! was the last entry in the Film Out Festival that went from April 16th -22 at the North Park Birch Theatre. It was a fun evening and according to all involved, a success.
See you at the theatre.
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Critic Davis is based in San Diego