By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO─ San Diego Unified School District returned the Mine-Resistant Ambush-Protected vehicle it had received from the Department of Defense. In the letter to the DOD, it explained that it had rescinded its “spare the tank, spoil the child” disciplinary policy.
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Vice-President Biden apologized to the Jewish community for calling predatory bankers who charged high interest rates to military personnel “Shylocks.” He then condemned the Othellos of the NFL for abusing their girlfriends and spouses.
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In a hotly contested referendum, Scotland voted to remain part of the United Kingdom. The UK has promised to devolve more power to the Scottish parliament and to appoint a team of marriage and family counselors to make the union between the British and the Scots happier.
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The North American Aerospace Defense Command reported it intercepted two Russian planes that violated American airspace near Alaska. Apparently, they were carrying leaflets challenging the legitimacy of the American purchase of Alaska from Russia in 1867 and calling for Alaskans to conduct a referendum on whether they want to be part of Russia or the United States. A PS on the leaflet read: “We see you too, Sarah.”
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The first purchaser of an IPhone 6 accidently dropped and broke it. The Apple Store refused to replace it, but offered him a tube of IGlue.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com . San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.