By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO─ As the world spins out of control, these new reality shows are being readied for broadcast.
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Survivor: Three contestants will be parachuted into areas ISIS occupies. One will be wearing a cross and an American flag lapel pin; the second will be wearing a Jewish star and an Israeli lapel pin; and, the third will be dressed in a Peshmerga uniform. The contestant who can evade being beheaded, crucified, dismembered, imprisoned, raped, or shot will be the winner.
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Dancing with the Czar: Hosted by Ron Klain, doctors from America’s leading hospitals compete in a dance marathon. Donning full-body protective suits, the doctors will partner with infectious Ebola patients. The winner is the last couple not exuding bodily fluids.
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Big Brother: This show takes you behind the scenes at the NSA. It is possible the program will be cancelled mid-season because the film might be confiscated and the filmmakers flown to remote locations for extraordinary rendition.
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Extreme Fakeover: This series follows how campaign managers of current candidates for the House of Representatives and Senate create attack ads against their opponents.
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Shark Tank: A panel of tabloid journalists evaluates the political damage ex-members of President Obama’s cabinet can inflict on Obama’s reputation in their forthcoming memoirs. The winner gets a publishing contract.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com . San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.