Humoring the Headlines: January 12, 2015

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron
Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO─ Killing innocent civilians in the name of Allah has failed as a terrorist tactic when:

French Muslims carry signs proclaiming, “Je suis Juif.”

1.5 million Parisians rally in the streets even without the incentive of free wine and cheese.

Hamas condemns the Charlie Hebdo murders (but not the Hyper Cacher Hebrew ones).

The principles of the French Revolution, “Liberty, Equality, Fraternity,” temporarily triumph over the principles of the French Devolution: “Temerity, Inequality, Enmity.”

The French accord Benjamin Netanyahu a warm welcome.

Benjamin Netanyahu and Mahmoud Abbas march together for the same cause.

Going to a kosher supermarket constitutes a political statement rather than a culinary or religious one.

Charlie Hebdo prints more copies than Le Monde, Le Figaro, and Liberation together.

European Islamic terrorists take a weekend off forcing Boko Haram, ISIS, and Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula to work overtime.

The hackers at Anonymous target Jihadist websites instead of government computer systems.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com .  San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.