Humoring the headlines: June 13, 2015

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron
Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO─ Cognizant of the pushback Fox News has encountered for limiting participation in the first Republican presidential debate to the ten leading candidates in national polls, MTV plans to televise a musical chairs competition among the Republican candidates in lieu of a debate.   In a related story The Learning Channel is replacing the Duggar family’s program 19 Kids and Counting with a new series about the Republican primary called 19 Candidates and Winnowing.

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The Supreme Court struck down a federal statute that allowed Americans born in Jerusalem to list Israel as their birthplace.  Israel retaliated by enacting a law that prohibits Israelis born in Washington D.C. from listing the United States as their place of birth since it too is a city without a state.

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McKinney policeman Eric Casebolt apologized for his abusive handling of a fourteen year-old African American girl, but rationalized it by claiming his nerves were frayed by two prior suicide cases.  The girl wonders if she could use a similar excuse if she had resisted her arrest.

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Trying to lure tourists back to the beaches near Santa Barbara after the recent oil spill there, the city’s Chamber of Commerce has launched a publicity campaign whose slogan is, “You don’t need to travel all the way to Hawaii for beaches with black sand.”

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Carly Fiorina’s new campaign ad belittles Hillary Clinton’s political experience by asserting “titles are not accomplishments.”  She then touts her own credentials as a former senior vice president of AT&T’s Hardware and Systems Division, CEO of Hewlett-Packard, a losing candidate for one of California’s senatorial seats, and the worst American tech CEO of all time according to CBS News and USA Today.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com .  San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.

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