Humoring the Headlines: June 26, 2015

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron
Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO─ The Oxford English Dictionary added a new definition for the word “belated:” “The interval between the end of the Civil War, 90 years of Jim Crow Laws, and 50 years of resisting Civil Rights legislation, and the removal of Confederate flag from the flags and license plates of states in the South because African Americans perceive it as a symbol of racism.”

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General Mills announced it will phase out “artificial colors and flavors” from its cereals prompting it to stop production of all of its children’s brands of cereals and reduce the size of the boxes of its adult brands by half.

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The US Treasury Department plans to put a woman’s face on the ten dollar bill. Of course, its market worth will only be seven dollars and seventy cents.

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Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal became the 13th candidate to enter the race for the Republican nomination for president. Rarely has the numerical order of when a candidate threw his hat into the ring been so indicative of his prospects for winning the nomination.

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The US Supreme Court ruled that gay marriage is legal the day after it upheld the constitutionality of the federal subsidies for Obama Care. The outcomes of these two cases have given Republican conservatives a terrible headache at a time when they all are boycotting Tylenol for political reasons.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com .  San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.