Humoring the headlines: November 9, 2015

By Laurie Baron

MARGATE, New Jersey‒Benjamin Netanyahu and Barack Obama are having their first meeting today since the passage of the US-Iranian Nuclear Deal.  The venue has been changed from the White House to a nearby boxing ring.  As a gesture of reconciliation, Netanyahu demanded his new media spokesman Ron Baratz retract his derogatory statements about Obama and Kerry and remove the photo of Obama with a Hitler mustache from his website.

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Donald Trump hosted Saturday Night Live.  His appearance proved that he is a no more than a jokester who can barely sustain a one hour television program, let alone a four year term.

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The University of Missouri football team refuses to play any more games unless the university’s President resigns for mishandling of racist incidents on campus.  It is anticipated that the players’ demands will be met because NCAA Division One Football always takes priority over serious political issues.

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Presidential hopeful Ben Carson claimed that the pyramids were built by Joseph to store grain for the seven years of famine he foresaw.  Donald Trump retorted that they were built by Jewish slaves working for stupid pharaohs who should have concentrated on building a wall to prevent the Jews from escaping Egypt and to keep the Aztecs out.

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China has been burning 17 percent more coal than environmental monitoring groups thought.  Environmentalists realized this when China announced its plan to repurpose soot as makeup for Goths.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University.  Currently serving as the Ida E. King Distinguished Visiting Professor of Holocaust Studies at the Richard Stockton College in Galloway, New Jersey, he may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com   San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.

Congratulations to Laurie Baron on this, his 200th Humoring the Headlines column!