By Laurie Baron
MARGATE, New Jersey‒Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin complimented each other on their leadership abilities. Trump is so confident he will win both the Republican nomination for president and the general election that he has begun secretly negotiating a diplomatic deal with Putin. If Trump wins the Oval Office, the United States will drop its opposition to Russia annexing the Ukraine, and Russia will let the United States occupy Mexico eliminating the need to build a wall around it.
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Staffers in the Sanders’ campaign accessed names of supporters from Hillary Clinton’s database due to a breach in the firewall of the DNC’s server. The Clinton campaign charged that her data was stolen and recommended that Sanders protect his campaign information and communications from hacking by storing it on a private server.
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The Fed raised its effective rate from zero percent to .25 per cent sending the Stock Market into a downward spiral. America’s wealthiest corporations have come to expect interest-free loans from the government especially now that it has become more expensive to buy politicians.
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Chris Christie asserted he would be willing and ready to shoot down Russian jets in Syria to enforce a No-Fly zone even it means triggering World War 3. He assured voters that the United States can win a world war; it is only the regional ones it has trouble winning.
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Condemning Donald Trump’s proposal to ban all Muslims from entering the United States, Nobel Prize winner Malala Yousafzai commented, “If your intention is to stop terrorism, do not try to blame the whole population of Muslims for it because it cannot stop terrorism. It will radicalize more terrorists.” Off camera, she added, “I’m the one who was shot in the head, but he’s the one who acts like he’s brain-damaged.”
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. Currently serving as the Ida E. King Distinguished Visiting Professor of Holocaust Studies at the Richard Stockton College in Galloway, New Jersey, he may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.