Humoring the headlines: July 10, 2016

By Laurie Baron

Laurie Baron
Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO─ In the wake of a series of mass shootings in the United States, the governments of Bahrain, the Bahamas, and United Arab Emirates have issued advisories to their citizens about the dangers of traveling in the United States.  The NRA considers this a great achievement.

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Donald Trump denounced the media for being hypocritical by drawing attention to the anti-Semitic implications of the six-pointed star emblazoned on an anti-Hillary tweet disseminated by his campaign, but not finding the Disney Company guilty of the same thing for the six-pointed star appearing on the cover of its children’s book Frozen.  Further investigation into his charges revealed that the star is adjacent to Queen Elsa, a blond and blue eyed Aryan Queen who erects a wall of ice to protect herself from the outside world.

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The Dallas Police Department was criticized for deploying a robot to detonate the bomb that killed the sniper responsible for killing five officers and wounding seven more.  Questions have also been raised if the Dallas Police Department nicknamed the robot the terminator.

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Pundits are predicting that Donald Trump will pick Newt Gingrich as his running mate.  In return Gingrich has promised Trump the rights to build a casino on the moon where they both plan to go into exile if they lose.

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In an interview on MSNBC Rudy Giuliani said, “I think the reason there’s a target on police officers’ backs is because of groups like Black Lives Matter. They make it seem like all police are against blacks.”  This reminds me of the FBI memo on Martin Luther King following the 1963 March on Washington:  “In the light of King’s powerful demagogic speech…We must mark him now, if we have not done so before, as the most dangerous Negro of the future in this Nation from the standpoint of communism, the Negro, and national security.”

 

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com   San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.