The Second Presidential Berate
By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO─ Looming over the debate was the Access Hollywood audiotape of Donald Trump bragging about his sexual harassment of beautiful women. Although the press dubbed this revelation the October surprise, it really was the October reprise. Many quotes of Donald sexually objectifying women before and during the campaign already had surfaced. The difference was that they were softcore porn, and the audiotape was hardcore.
*
To demonstrate that Bill Clinton was a worse offender than himself, Trump held a press conference to introduce four women who have charged Clinton with sexual harassment and rape. After the women left the room, Trump allegedly whispered to Steve Bannon, “At least the babes I seduce aren’t dogs!”
*
The debate began with a frosty moment when neither candidate shook hands with the other. In a subsequent interview, Clinton admitted she refused to shake hands with Trump because she wasn’t sure where his hand was reaching.
*
Trump moderated his stance on Hillary. He no longer exhorted his supporters to shoot her; he merely wants to appoint a special prosecutor to investigate her nefarious activities and jail her.
*
Trump accused Hillary of harboring hate in her heart and once against compared her to the devil. Indeed, he suspects that she possessed Mike Pence during his debate to articulate the policies she would undertake to protect the people of Syria from bombing attacks by Syria and Russia.
*
The debate ended with each candidate revealing what trait they respect in the other. Hillary praised Donald’s children and added that if she were president, he’d still be on paternity leave. Donald conceded that Hillary is a fighter and wondered why he never spars with him in boxer shorts and a training bra.
*
Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.