Joel H. Cohen

“First, be very sure you want to be president, even though it costs you considerable money and time attending boring meetings and dealing with people who are never satisfied,” President Trump began. “I don’t think I’ve mentioned it, but being president has cost me millions of dollars. But that’s okay.” [Satire by Joel H. Cohen]

While his critics have often characterized President Trump as a “divider,’ recent glorification by admirers may have changed the description to ‘uniter.’ But not necessarily the way he might prefer. [Satire by Joel H. Cohen]

Trump commented that “turncoats” against him include “even Gordon Sondland” who changed his testimony to declare that there was indeed a “quid pro quo” sought by the president and his supporters on Ukraine. Dismissing Sondland’s influence, Trump commented, “He thought he could buy my affection with a little donation to my campaign (reportedly a million dollars); I did name him ambassador to the European Union, whatever that is, but his disloyalty eventually came to the surface.” [Satire by Joel H. Cohen]

As if President Trump didn’t have enough adversity to deal with already, Stephen Miller has added to his tzuris. [Satire by Joel H. Cohen]

He [President Trump]was especially impressed with the account of young David slaying Goliath with a slingshot. “If there had been a National Slingshot Association back then,” the president speculated aloud and in a tweet, “the Hebrews would have enjoyed a much better, greater, probably spectacular, life.” {Satire by Joel H. Cohen]

At first, it may seem a bit of a stretch, but President Trump can trace the blossoming of what he calls “my incredible deal-making ability” to a childhood meeting with Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, the late, revered leader of worldwide Lubavatcher Chassidim. [Satire by Joel H. Cohen]

It’s not widely known, but President Trump has become something of a Biblical scholar…or, at least, a fan.   His affection started when daughter Ivanka and son-in-law Jared began reading him Torah stories at bedtime to help him sleep. [Satire by Joel H. Cohen]

By Joel H. Cohen NEW YORK — President Trump, inspired by the Biblical account of Jonah and the whale, now wants live whales to protect the border between the United States and Mexico. At the same time, he’s planning to develop a theme park in Florida, based on the story. First, his novel idea for

Members of President Trump’s family — his two older sons and “the other daughter” — plan to market a line of sukkas in time for next year’s Sukkot holiday. The top-of the line items, which the president has nicknamed “Trump Tabernacle Tents,” will each bear a golden capital T, which will glow in the dark for the benefit of those who want to visit the sukkas in the evening.

President Trump has now added Israel to the nations he wants to supply him with information about possible scandalous or illegal activity on the part of political rivals.
 If Israel fails to do his bidding, he’s considering moving the U.S. embassy from Jerusalem back to Tel Aviv. (To read more of this satire, please click on the headline.)

Like most Americans, President Trump learned only recently that before Volodymyr Zelensky became the President of Ukraine, he was a professional comedian.

And not just a comedian – but a Jewish comedian.

So, with visions of lox and gefilte fish and brisket dancing in his head, Trump is planning to appeal to Zelensky as one jokester to another, in order to convince him to get politically damaging dirt on former U.S. Vice President Joe Biden and his son, Hunter.

Claiming a “mutual love affair, unlike any other in history” between himself and the Jewish people, President Trump is rolling back tariffs on several product imports from China that are favored by Jews.
 
In a series of tweets, the president said: “Nobody loves the Jews the as much as I do, and no world leader – including Bibi —  is loved more by Jews than I am. So I’m doing them a dollars-and-cents buying favor.” (Please click on headline to read more)