Lawrence Baron

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO — We used to go to the movies to escape reality, but our current political polarization has crept into feature films.  Beware this summer, there are a lot of movies either with the same titles or slight variations that are more ideological than cinematic. Nope: Pretending to be Jordan Peele’s

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO — Congress is holding its first hearing on Unidentified Flying Objects in over fifty years, but the UFO (Uncompromising Fascistic Oath-Breakers) Caucus is intent on exposing the radical agenda pursued by extraterrestrials. Here’ s a preview of their questions and comments: Marjorie Taylor Greene: Am I mistaken, or did I

(Tune: Row, Row, Row, Your Boat) By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO — Roe, Roe, Roe, your vote. Pack the Supreme Court. Scarily, scarily, scarily, scarily. No crime to abort! Roe, Roe, Roe, your vote. Inflation is a curse. Warily, warily, warily, warily. The GOP is worse. Roe, Roe, Roe, your vote. We can’t afford to

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO — Now that the low hanging fruit of blatantly perverted and racist books have been banned by school boards in many states, it’s time to start evaluating the deleterious impact that the most frequently assigned books by schools have on the impressionable minds of tweens and teenagers. The Bible: Contains

(To the tune of “Lady Madonna”) By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO — Stare Decisis, its time has expired. With the three judges Donald Trump hired. Who needs Roe when you are with child? Carry it to term if you’ve been defiled.   Six weeks is too much time to tarry. Informers can charge you with

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO — Preface: Russian Jews revere me, but I worry that their traditional Seder might evoke analogies between the unjustly vilified Pharaoh and my benign leadership. To avert this, I have supplied them with a Haggadah from his perspective to guide their Seders. Seder means order, and they are ordered to

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO — Vladimir Putin miscalculated when he expected Russia to rapidly defeat and occupy Ukraine.  His mistake stems from the misinformation he received from advisors and intelligence agencies who feared disputing his decisions.  My mole in the Kremlin, a waiter named Pinkus Pinsky, has sent me copies of the briefing materials

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO — McDonald’s has closed its restaurants in Russia to protest the invasion of Ukraine.  Considering the high levels of cholesterol and salt in its products, it could have harmed Russia more by providing meals for Russian soldiers who would eventually keel over from heart attacks when they get scared in

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO — Volodymyr Zelensky has impressed the world with his courage and leadership.  Before being elected president of the Ukraine, he was a popular comedian.  Since many American politicians are already jokes, perhaps Biden needs to reshuffle his cabinet and enlist popular comedians to make America great again.  Here are some

By Laurie Baron Denazification=DeNATOization Ukrainians=Lapsed Russians Special Operations=Asymmetrical war waged until the world starts saying Kiev again Genocide=What lapsed Russians do to ethnic Russians Act of War=Anything that aids the lapsed Russians Chernobyl =What will happen to other nuclear reactors if the lapsed Russians resist Nuclear High Alert=Your next infrastructure projects should be building bomb