Lawrence Baron

“I’ve presented him with the best data I have.  I put it on charts and graphs because I know he doesn’t read.  Now if I can only convince him it is not fake news.”” “If he thinks there’s nothing to lose giving Covid19 patients with hydroxychloroquine because it cures malaria, I’d like to persuade him to let me inject his vocal chords with Botox assuring him it will protect him from coronavirus because it removes wrinkles and lessens migraine pain.” [Satire by Laurie Baron, Ph.D]

Book 1 Genesis
Book 1 Genesis — In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth and carved out spaces for dog beaches and parks.  God created Dog in his/her own temperament to make sure Adam and Eve and their descendants never felt alone and to bring them their fig leaves and sandals in the morning.  When Adam and Eve violated God’s command not to eat from the Tree of Wisdom, they and their dogs were expelled from the Garden of Eden, and dogs were required to wear leashes. {Elona Baron, in memory of Ozzie, as told to Laurie Baron]

In an interview I conducted with the President over Zoom, he explained why he has not contracted the coronavirus and has been so successful in mitigating its spread.  I guaranteed him that it would be off the record.  I kept my promise.  I’ve recorded this on paper and not on vinyl. [Satire column by Laurie Baron, PhD]

As the pandemic creates shortages of supplies that doctors and nurses need, we need to repurpose things that could substitute for what we lack. [Laurie Baron, Ph.D]

Although the stock market has rallied in the past week, the companies whose initial public offerings have been doing well may not portend a rosy future.  These successful startups and their advertising campaigns demonstrate that investors are banking on bad news. [Satire by Laurie Baron, Ph.D]