Lawrence Baron

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ Mitt Romney told the National Republican Committee in San Diego County that he plans to make eradicating poverty a key part of his 2016 presidential candidacy.  Stepping back from his 2012 campaign gaffe, he declared, “I want to elevate the 47 % into the 1 % and rename the current 1 […]

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ Asking journalists to exercise more discretion instead of mocking other religions, Pope Francis asserted that if someone cursed his mother, he would punch him.  Whatever happened to turning the other cheek? * Syria released a report about its economy indicating that oil was no longer its biggest export product.  It

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ Two scientists from Johns Hopkins University have concluded that the cause of two-thirds of all cancers is luck and not behavior, environment, or heredity.  In their next study they will distinguish between the variables that cause benign rather than malignant luck. * Sylvester Stallone has announced his plan to produce

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ Republican Steve Scalise, the Majority Whip in the House of Representatives, claims he was unaware that David Duke’s European-American Unity and Rights Organization was a racist group when he delivered a speech at its annual conference in 2002.  Critics wonder how he could have overlooked that the dress code for

By Laurie Baron January –The Russian police have alerted spectators at the Sochi Olympics to be on the outlook for several “Black Widow Terrorists, women from Dagestan whose husbands were killed by Russian anti-terrorist squads.  There are posters throughout the Olympic venues informing spectators how to identify these women:  If you meet a woman on

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ North Korea has accused the government of the United States of involvement in the making of The Interview because Hollywood would never voluntarily make a tasteless comedy with Seth Rogen and James Franco.  Moreover, North Korea denied it had anything to do with the hacking of SONY Pictures and threatened

  By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ One of the proportionate responses to North Korea’s hacking of Sony Pictures that President Obama is considering is taking Dennis Rodman hostage and locking him in a cell with Dick Cheney who relishes the opportunity to wire his defibrillator to Rodman’s body if North Korea ever attempts another cyberattack on

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ The group that hacked SONY Studios has threatened to attack theatres that screen The Interview, a comedy in which Seth Rogen and James Franco are recruited by the CIA to assassinate North Korean leader Kim Jong-un.  Without this publicity, the movie probably would have bombed without the help of terrorists.

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO–Here are eight things I won’t do for Chanukah. I won’t ask the President of the United States to pardon two potatoes. I won’t expect to find a new Lexus wrapped in a red bow in my driveway.  If anyone wants to give me a Lexus, please wrap it in a

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO — President Obama was diagnosed with acid reflux.  His personal physician surmises that he caught it from Congressional Republicans who repeatedly regurgitate any piece of legislation that he has submitted to them. * Trying to avert a federal takeover, the Cleveland Police Department has banned the sale of toy guns to African

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ Shortly before he was killed by a policeman, Michael Brown was caught on videotape stealing cigarillos from a convenience store.  Stopped for illegally selling individual cigarettes from a pack, Eric Garner was choked to death by a policeman trying to subdue him.  What is more hazardous to heath, tobacco products

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ China’s State Administration for Press, Publication, Radio, Film and Television has banned the use of puns in state media because it’s not funny to be living under communism 25 years after the end of the Cold War. * Orthodox leaders have condemned Rabbi Steven Pruzansky of Teaneck, New Jersey for