Lawrence Baron

  By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ One of the proportionate responses to North Korea’s hacking of Sony Pictures that President Obama is considering is taking Dennis Rodman hostage and locking him in a cell with Dick Cheney who relishes the opportunity to wire his defibrillator to Rodman’s body if North Korea ever attempts another cyberattack on […]

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ The group that hacked SONY Studios has threatened to attack theatres that screen The Interview, a comedy in which Seth Rogen and James Franco are recruited by the CIA to assassinate North Korean leader Kim Jong-un.  Without this publicity, the movie probably would have bombed without the help of terrorists.

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO–Here are eight things I won’t do for Chanukah. I won’t ask the President of the United States to pardon two potatoes. I won’t expect to find a new Lexus wrapped in a red bow in my driveway.  If anyone wants to give me a Lexus, please wrap it in a

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO — President Obama was diagnosed with acid reflux.  His personal physician surmises that he caught it from Congressional Republicans who repeatedly regurgitate any piece of legislation that he has submitted to them. * Trying to avert a federal takeover, the Cleveland Police Department has banned the sale of toy guns to African

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ Shortly before he was killed by a policeman, Michael Brown was caught on videotape stealing cigarillos from a convenience store.  Stopped for illegally selling individual cigarettes from a pack, Eric Garner was choked to death by a policeman trying to subdue him.  What is more hazardous to heath, tobacco products

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ China’s State Administration for Press, Publication, Radio, Film and Television has banned the use of puns in state media because it’s not funny to be living under communism 25 years after the end of the Cold War. * Orthodox leaders have condemned Rabbi Steven Pruzansky of Teaneck, New Jersey for

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ President Obama told George Stephanopoulos that he felt like a dinged-up used car and that the voters would be looking for a new model in 2016. Picking up on his car analogy, many Republicans hope he will be recalled before the next election. * The new Lammily doll is less

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ Fox News’ reporters are apoplectic about Obama’s Executive Order to defer the deportation of millions of undocumented aliens.  They accuse him of permitting potential carriers of Ebola, drug dealers, felons, and terrorists to remain in the country.  Meanwhile, the FCC has requested the network to change its slogan from “Fair

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ Congressional Republicans are outraged that President Obama plans to issue Executive Orders liberalizing immigration policy during the lame duck period between the elections and the inauguration of the next House and Senate.  Obama justifies his actions as an appropriate response to the last two years of a dead duck Congress.

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ A new Gallup poll indicated that 42 % of those queried have a favorable view of the Republican Party compared to only 36 % who view the Democratic Party favorability.    While many analysts attribute this to President Obama’s mishandling of the ISIS and Ebola crises, others believe it is just

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ Upon stepping off of Air Force One at Beijing Airport, President Obama was besieged by Chinese creditors demanding that he pay off loans they made to the United States. * Breitbart News erroneously alleged that President Obama’s nominee for Attorney General Loretta Lynch had served as the Clintons’ lawyer in

An election wrapup… By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ John Boehner and Mitch McConnell celebrated the GOP’s control of both the House and the Senate by offering to work cooperatively with President Obama to accomplish their aims.  In this spirit of bipartisanship they changed the GOP’s campaign slogan from “Stop Obama; Fire Reid” to “Stop Ebola;

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ Somewhere in hell Joseph McCarthy watched last night’s election results.  Not knowing that television networks now designate Republican states as red and Democratic ones as blue, he looked at the electoral map and commented, “I warned them the communists would take over the United States!” * Boko Haram reported that

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ The current buzzword in American politics is “quarantine.” * Governor Christie imposed a quarantine for all people returning from travel in Ebola-stricken areas of Africa and interned a nurse who had worked there in a make-shift tent near a hospital.  After yielding to pressure to allow her to return home,