Lawrence Baron

  By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO-Hamas broke the 3 day cease fire with Israel shortly after it began. Its spokesmen claimed that its fighters inadvertently used a stopwatch instead of a clock to time the cessation of hostilities or that the word “cease” was accidentally deleted from the email informing them of the armistice. *

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─Although House Republicans insist that racism plays no role in their decision to sue President Obama, they have hired Marcia Clark and Christopher Darden as the prosecuting attorneys for their case. * Miramax announced the production of a sequel to the science fiction classic The Day the Earth Stood Still. In

  By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─In a vote that split along party lines, the House Committee on Rules approved pursuing John Boehner’s lawsuit against President Obama. Coincidentally, President Obama introduced legislation to ban frivolous lawsuits. * Fiscal hawks are losing their plumage. Rick Perry dispatched 1,000 members of the Texas National Guard to deter unaccompanied

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO―Hamas agreed to accept all the unaccompanied minors who have sought asylum in the United States so long as they don’t mind living in tents above missile and weapon caches. * The Pro-Russian Ukrainian rebels suspected of downing Malaysian Airlines Flight 17 have analyzed its black box and concluded that the

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO-Since airlines are now prohibited from flying over the Ukraine, United Airlines has updated its motto: “Fly the friendly skies and avoid the hostile ones.” * The Kalashnikov Concern, the manufacturer of AK-47s, is one of the companies affected by the new sanctions President Obama has imposed on Russia. In response

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO-Lebron James has decided to return to Cleveland and play for the  Cavaliers.  Inspired by James’ change of heart,  Edward Snowden plans to return to the United States and work for the CIA. * Israeli Civilian Prayer: Adonai, please keep my home safe from missiles. Palestinian Civilian Prayer: Allah, please keep

  By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO-Torah lessons: Deuteronomy XIX: 21 “And your eye shall not pity: life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot.” In other words, you can’t kill someone for a murder or murders he or she did not commit. Deuteronomy XXV: 1-2: “If there be

  Humoring the Headlines By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO- ISIS declared that one objective of the Islamic State it has established is to overthrow Barack Obama.  John Boehner and Mitch McConnell have contacted ISIS about coordinating their efforts. * Customers have complained about Walmart selling posters of the infamous Dachau gate which bore the slogan

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO―In a unanimous decision the Supreme Court ruled that police cannot routinely confiscate cell phones and use the information found on them as evidence in criminal cases without first obtaining a search warrant. Law enforcement officials have denounced the decision even though the NSA has assured them it already has a

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO-President Obama dispatched 300 military advisors to Iraq to bolster the Maliki government. When Obama’s press secretary was asked what the advisors will be doing, he replied they will be advising Iraqi soldiers which on-line courses to take to learn what real soldiers do in combat. * Pope Francis excommunicated all