Michael Mantell

I have a millennial client who said in a recent tele-emotional education session, “This at-home bullshit is driving me effing crazy and it completely sucks! I can’t go play video games with my friends and that sucks. My parents are driving me insane and they suck. Everything in my life sucks. Life sucks.!!!” [Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D]

Small spaces with little way out 24 hours a day, seven days a week, present a real test to any marital relationship. Will sheltering-at-home result in increased marital strain and divorce in America as it has in China, where divorce rates have already increased sharply during the COVID19 pandemic? Iran has witnessed significantly increasing marital detachment since the quarantine went into effect in that country. The UK is also vigilant with the British Parliament warning to expect a spike in divorce. The chatter among matrimonial-family law and relationship experts in the United States is to anticipate similar tribulations in marriage during this country’s extended confinement. [Michael Mantell, Ph.D]

Seems that with WAZE, Google Maps, and other similar apps everyone these days has their own “navi” system. Only problem is, the other day I plugged “Happiness” into one of these and the app exploded! I asked Siri, Alexa and even my Apple watch…no help. Could COVID19 have infected my course-plotting devices? Of course not. But during these sheltered-at-home days, any journey out needs to be swift, calculated and well-planned. That’s when it hit me. I needed to rely a better GPS system, one that’s guided me well in the past and surely would do so during these emotionally strained times. [Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D]

Simple annoyance, fiery rage, and loss of temper, with its emotional and physiological mayhem, so mess with your life that it’s time to prevent, not just manage the thunder. Sure quarantine, masks, gloves, hand washing, that itch on your cheek you aren’t supposed to scratch, kids at home all day long, and the ever-present threat of catching COVID19 can get to the calmest of us. Lashing out in anger over even the smallest slight or obstacle only makes sense if your goal is to strip yourself of peace while inflaming your bitterness and indignation. [Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D]

Henry David Thoreau once shared that he had three chairs in his home, “…one for solitude, two for friendship, and three for society.” Doesn’t that provide you with remarkable insight into the value of a chair?  Chairs provide comfort, stability, relaxation, style and for Thoreau, “…solitude, friendship and society.” During this time of emotionally charged home quarantine, I’m concerned that a chair for many may also pose a corner of isolation, inactivity and ultimate gloominess. You see, as Benjamin Franklin observed, “The discontented man finds no easy chair.” [Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D]

This may be the latest “health supplement” on the block, but it’s been around for thousands of years, hasn’t it?  You bet it’s been around for thousands of years. In Psalm 100-4, we read, “Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him, bless His name.” Even during these “sandpapering” times of COVID19, maybe especially during these times, we are being asked to look within with gratitude for the opportunity to thrive and grow. One with a grateful lens sees the proper response to this challenge being to prioritize our social connections, our network with others, and to serve each other, for the benefit of the other, for ourselves, and for the greater world. [Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D]

Sure, we’re all quarantined, hopefully wisely respecting the directives to stay home and not expose ourselves and others to COVID19. Indeed, someone posted this stark wake-up call recently in social media, “Coronavirus patients die alone in a hospital bed without a family member to hold hands with. Think about that before you go out.” Whew! And this article is about being playful? You bet it is. Our bodies are quarantined, not our minds. [Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D]

Is there anything more contagious than…laughter? Some believe COVID19 is far more communicable, though when it comes to transmitting something healthy, laughter’s got it beat. It’s been said, though admittedly some question the accuracy of this number, that toddlers laugh more than 300-400 times a day, while the average adult manages about 20 chuckles each day.  What’s happened to our sense of humor? Has the anger industry, the “if it bleeds it leads” instant cycle media, been stirring the worst news and views, shattering our joy? Listening to the “coronacopia” of negativity can wear on us all. And it does. So, you may ask, what’s there to smile about now? Why smile when the world is ending? Remember, folks, only the end of the world is the end of the world. And there are plenty of good reasons to smile, to find humor, to laugh…like your health. [Michael R. Mantell, PhD]

 At this time of ever-growing COVID19 anxiety, conditioning our mind for mental vigor and fitness may be more important than many other steps we are all taking during our heightened awareness of disease transmission. At the very least, it will lead to less hand wringing and could lead to more hand washing. Now before you think this column is about physical exercise and muscle growth, I’m talking here about another type of being F.I.T., one that I’ve been writing and speaking about for many years. This F.I.T. has to do with being a “Fundamentally Independent Thinker” and requires no exercise equipment. Oh, right, the link is what you think, remember? Let’s delve into this a bit and see how being an independent thinker, not hooked into external events, can help you through the COVID19 upheaval. [Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D]

Sometimes, you just need to take a deep breath. After all, Robert Frost observed, “The real reason that worry kills more people than work does, is that more people worry than work.” Perhaps we’d all worry less, and therefore be healthier, if we would just follow the wise advice of Marcus Aurelius who urged, “When you arise in the morning, think of what precious privilege it is to be alive, to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” Ahh, if it were only so easy, right? [Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D]