Trivia, Humor & Satire

Editor’s Note:  This is the 100th “Humoring the Headlines” column to appear on San Diego Jewish World.   To Professor Baron goes a hearty Mazal Tov! By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ The National Football League announced that it will impose six-game suspensions on any player found guilty of domestic violence. The battered spouses of the players […]

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ Senator Rand Paul has dubbed the war which began in Iraq in 2003 “Hillary’s War.” Among Republican isolationists, this means she is now cursed to bear the mark of McCain. * The earthquake which jolted Napa this weekend left the Napa County Hall of Justice with several gaping holes and

  By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─Congressman Louis Gohmert of Texas charges that the Muslim Brotherhood exerts a strong influence on the Obama administration   He claims to have seen footage of Obama prostrating himself several times on a green carpet. Other reporters say these are just YouTube clips of the President picking up golf balls from

  By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─ Forty-six years ago in August 1968, the Chicago Police Department used excessive force to suppress demonstrators at the Democratic Convention. This week the Ferguson Police Department commemorated the event by reenacting it. * An Arizona high-school math teacher showed up to her class drunk and continued to consume alcohol

  By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─Israel and Hamas honored two 72 hour ceasefires in the past week. In a related development Three Day Suit Broker announced that things were stable enough in the area for it to open branches in Israel and Gaza. * This week the world lost both Robin Williams and Lauren Bacall.

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─The NCAA authorized college teams in “power conferences” to develop compensation plans for their student athletes, reasoning that pay for play has worked so well in politics, why not try it in collegiate sports. * For years conservatives have claimed there is a war on Christmas, but with the rise of

  By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─A recent poll indicated that only 4 % of Americans have a favorable view of Vladimir Putin; whereas 6 % think Congress is doing a good job. According to the pollsters, those queried feel that Congress merely occupies space whereas Putin occupies countries. * Two Americans who contracted Ebola while

  By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO-Hamas broke the 3 day cease fire with Israel shortly after it began. Its spokesmen claimed that its fighters inadvertently used a stopwatch instead of a clock to time the cessation of hostilities or that the word “cease” was accidentally deleted from the email informing them of the armistice. *

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─Although House Republicans insist that racism plays no role in their decision to sue President Obama, they have hired Marcia Clark and Christopher Darden as the prosecuting attorneys for their case. * Miramax announced the production of a sequel to the science fiction classic The Day the Earth Stood Still. In

  By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO─In a vote that split along party lines, the House Committee on Rules approved pursuing John Boehner’s lawsuit against President Obama. Coincidentally, President Obama introduced legislation to ban frivolous lawsuits. * Fiscal hawks are losing their plumage. Rick Perry dispatched 1,000 members of the Texas National Guard to deter unaccompanied

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO―Hamas agreed to accept all the unaccompanied minors who have sought asylum in the United States so long as they don’t mind living in tents above missile and weapon caches. * The Pro-Russian Ukrainian rebels suspected of downing Malaysian Airlines Flight 17 have analyzed its black box and concluded that the

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO-Since airlines are now prohibited from flying over the Ukraine, United Airlines has updated its motto: “Fly the friendly skies and avoid the hostile ones.” * The Kalashnikov Concern, the manufacturer of AK-47s, is one of the companies affected by the new sanctions President Obama has imposed on Russia. In response

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO-Lebron James has decided to return to Cleveland and play for the  Cavaliers.  Inspired by James’ change of heart,  Edward Snowden plans to return to the United States and work for the CIA. * Israeli Civilian Prayer: Adonai, please keep my home safe from missiles. Palestinian Civilian Prayer: Allah, please keep

  By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO-Torah lessons: Deuteronomy XIX: 21 “And your eye shall not pity: life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot.” In other words, you can’t kill someone for a murder or murders he or she did not commit. Deuteronomy XXV: 1-2: “If there be