Lifestyles

In our society, we are often afraid to speak honestly and directly. We don’t want to upset, offend, or step on someone’s toes. We fear being seen as aggressive, pushy, opinionated, demanding, or critical so intensely that we often pussyfoot around and avoid what really needs to be said. And while I applaud our new-found sensitivity to other people’s feelings, effective communication is often needlessly sacrificed. [Natasha Josefowitz, ACSW, Ph.D]

In any communication between two people, each one evaluates, accepts, rejects, classifies, or assimilates what the other is saying. We all have a tendency to hear what pleases us, or what we think the other will say, preoccupied as we are by our own response—we often don’t really listen. One of the pleasures of conversation is to talk about oneself, each believing that the other is fascinated by the tale. We love an audience. [Natasha Josefowitz, ACSW, Ph.D]

What is important? Important to whom? In terms of what? In terms of people’s philosophy of life? In terms of one’s needs? In terms of one’s strengths? In terms of policy? Or in terms of one’s mental health? [Natasha Josefowitz, ACSW, Ph.D]

As I have started to go out to restaurants and stores, I have noticed several instances of unacceptable behaviors towards waiters, salespeople, and other customer-service personnel. The loud blowup about a wrong order or slowness of service made me think about what people feel entitled to, like getting the expected services in a timely manner. In The Boston Globe (7/16/21) I read that “some restaurant owners in Massachusetts described customers who are lashing out at employees when they can’t be seated right away or endure longer wait times for their food.” These customers’ behaviors made the staff cry. [Natasha Josefowitz, ACSW, Ph.D]