Lifestyles

Sure, we’re all quarantined, hopefully wisely respecting the directives to stay home and not expose ourselves and others to COVID19. Indeed, someone posted this stark wake-up call recently in social media, “Coronavirus patients die alone in a hospital bed without a family member to hold hands with. Think about that before you go out.” Whew! And this article is about being playful? You bet it is. Our bodies are quarantined, not our minds. [Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D]

Is there anything more contagious than…laughter? Some believe COVID19 is far more communicable, though when it comes to transmitting something healthy, laughter’s got it beat. It’s been said, though admittedly some question the accuracy of this number, that toddlers laugh more than 300-400 times a day, while the average adult manages about 20 chuckles each day.  What’s happened to our sense of humor? Has the anger industry, the “if it bleeds it leads” instant cycle media, been stirring the worst news and views, shattering our joy? Listening to the “coronacopia” of negativity can wear on us all. And it does. So, you may ask, what’s there to smile about now? Why smile when the world is ending? Remember, folks, only the end of the world is the end of the world. And there are plenty of good reasons to smile, to find humor, to laugh…like your health. [Michael R. Mantell, PhD]

 At this time of ever-growing COVID19 anxiety, conditioning our mind for mental vigor and fitness may be more important than many other steps we are all taking during our heightened awareness of disease transmission. At the very least, it will lead to less hand wringing and could lead to more hand washing. Now before you think this column is about physical exercise and muscle growth, I’m talking here about another type of being F.I.T., one that I’ve been writing and speaking about for many years. This F.I.T. has to do with being a “Fundamentally Independent Thinker” and requires no exercise equipment. Oh, right, the link is what you think, remember? Let’s delve into this a bit and see how being an independent thinker, not hooked into external events, can help you through the COVID19 upheaval. [Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D]

Sometimes, you just need to take a deep breath. After all, Robert Frost observed, “The real reason that worry kills more people than work does, is that more people worry than work.” Perhaps we’d all worry less, and therefore be healthier, if we would just follow the wise advice of Marcus Aurelius who urged, “When you arise in the morning, think of what precious privilege it is to be alive, to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” Ahh, if it were only so easy, right? [Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D]

Okay, before you go all holier than thou, critical, or laugh so hard you can’t pay attention to the content of this article, here’s what being “All FFF’d Up” means when it comes to preventing emotional turmoil during this COVID19 unbalanced time. It means you need to have Fun, include Friends and be Focused. C’mon, what’d you think I meant? Besides, I like it better than Conviction, Commitment and Consistency. Three C’s or three F’s? See what I mean? [Michael R. Mantell, PhD]

Sure, you may be thinking that word might be “hate,” “poverty,” “illness,” or “death.” No, these words are mild compared to the self-disturbing, life-sucking, contentment-robbing, depression-boosting, anxiety-inducing, and anger-building word I’m thinking of. That word is “should.” In the wonderful words of my mentor and teacher, Albert Ellis, Ph.D., “Should-hood leads to sh#&-hood.” He also observed, “It’s far better to masturbate than MUSTurbate.” Yes, he was a straight talking guy. [Michael Mantell, Ph.D.]

People who are self-compassionate tend to be more unconditionally self-accepting regardless of their circumstances, while those who feed largely on self-esteem crumble when they face circumstances that are challenging. Self-compassion is not a matter of being selfish. It’s a matter of thriving through any situation, particularly the existential threat many feel from COVID19.
While frequent messaging includes “be compassionate and helpful to others,” people who include themselves in their compassion feel more in control, are filled with more self-love and self-worth and brim with self-confidence. [Michael Mantell, Ph.D]

I recall hearing that a well-adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous. What’s the secret? The link is what you think, of course. And the right mindset brings the secret out into the public: it’s resilience. And if you are fortunate enough to live in San Diego, with it’s glorious weather, beaches, parks, hiking paths and beautiful vistas, you have the most marvelous place on earth to develop that resilience. Personal elasticity if you will. It’s flexibility of the psyche, a springy attitude, a pliable outlook. Whatever you call it, it comes down to a bouncy, supple mindset. This ability to recover quickly is certainly not easy to attain, yet many successful people do. [Michael Mantell, Ph.D]