Lawrence Baron

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO―Spectators were dazzled by the pyrotechnics, luminescent colors, and special effects of the opening ceremony at the Sochi Winter Olympics.  Although Russia claimed it cost a fortune to produce and featured thousands of Russians, conspiracy theorists suspect it was merely a holographic projection of scenes from Avatar and Tron. * Under […]

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO―Archeologists have discovered a network of prehistoric limestone dwellings under Miami Beach.  While some of them speculate that the 2,000 year old structures were inhabited by the Tequesta Indians; others believe that they were originally built by one of the lost tribes of Israel because an inscription found in one of

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO-Since Hollywood loves sequels to successful movies and stories “ripped from the headlines,” production has begun on films that mix these genres.  Here are some scripts currently under consideration. American Tussle-An American diplomat futilely tries to convince obstinate Israeli and Palestinian leaders that making peace is better than descending into an

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO―Venture capitalist Thomas Perkins apologized for drawing a parallel between the “progressive war on the American one percent, namely the ‘rich” and “Nazi Germany’s war on its ‘one percent,’ namely its Jews.” …This is a very dangerous drift in our American thinking. Kristallnacht was unthinkable in 1930; is its descendant “progressive”

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO―President Obama will deliver his annual State of the Union Address on Tuesday.  Cathy McMorris Rodgers will give the Republican response to the speech.  Mike Lee will follow her with the Tea Party response to the Address.  Finally, Rand Paul will follow him with a speech representing his idiosyncratic perspective.  If

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO-The Russian police have alerted spectators at the Sochi Olympics to be on the outlook for several “Black Widow Terrorists, women from Dagestan whose husbands were killed by Russian anti-terrorist squads.  There are posters throughout the Olympic venues informing spectators how to identify these women:  If you meet a woman on

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO-The Vatican announced that 384 priests were defrocked between 2011 and 2012 for sexual abuse of children.  The children whom they abused will have a chance confront their molesters  in the new reality show “Meet the Frockers.” * French President Francois Hollande has been caught on camera having an affair with

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO-Many department stores are holding special sales this weekend in honor of Martin Luther King Day.  Somewhere in heaven, Martin Luther King is looking down and asking, “Was it worth the cost of sacrificing my life so American shoppers can save a few bucks to celebrate my birthday?” Overhearing Martin, Jesus

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO―A chemical used to clean coal has polluted the drinking water in West Virginia.  The company responsible for the spill encouraged coal miners to use the water for baths and showers to remove the coal dust clinging to their skin.  Natural gas companies exploited the crisis to tout the benefits of

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO―New Jersey Governor Chris Christie apologized for one of his aides ordering the closure of the George Washington Bridge’s entrance and exit lanes to and from Fort Lee, New Jersey, as a political reprisal either against the city’s Democratic mayor or the state’s Democratic Senate.  Although Christie hopes to weather the

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO―Jahi McMath’s parents won their law suit to transfer their daughter from the hospital that declared her brain dead and planned to terminate her life-support systems to another hospital which has agreed to keep her alive.  The McMaths are confident their insurance will cover the additional expenses because it is no

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO―Embattled Toronto Mayor Rob Ford announced he will run for reelection.  He pledges to top his first term by getting addicted to heroin, changing the name of the Toronto Maple Leafs to the Toronto Hashish Consumers, aka as the THCs, and promoting the city as a great place to eat out.