Lawrence Baron

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO―China has landed a rover on the moon. It immediately opened a restaurant and a bank to extend credit to whatever countries try to settle the moon.  Then it started building a factory for Walmart.  The shuttle with robot workers manufactured by Apple will arrive next month. * Sixteen year-old Ethan […]

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO―The budget deal forged by Paul Ryan of Wisconsin and Patty Murray will end extensions of unemployment insurance for 1.3 million Americans.  Since the current Congress s has passed fewer bills than any of its postwar predecessors, some deficit hawks have suggested docking the salary of its members because they haven’t

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO―As happens this time annually, conservatives are decrying the secular war on Christmas.  Having Christmas designated a national holiday, having a national Christmas tree, and having the media flooded with Christmas advertisements and messages from Thanksgiving until December 25th does constitute a war, but it is being waged against people who

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO―Benjamin Netanyahu had an audience with Pope Francis this week and gave him an autographed copy of his father’s book on the Spanish Inquisition.  This has sparked a new fad among world leaders.  The Japanese Prime Minister sent Present Obama John Hersey’s Hiroshima.  The Dalai Lama brought a copy of his

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO―The White House has demanded that North Korea release Merrill Newman because he is 85 years old and in poor health.  Joe Biden has been dispatched there to negotiate Newman’s freedom and is allegedly willing to trade two healthy forty-two year olds for the ailing Newman. * Amazon has announced that

Some songs for Chanukah By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO― Afghanistan (Tune: Oh Hanukah) Afghanistan, Afghanistan, Your future is certain.   . Our troops will defend you To profit Haliburton. There’s no more Osama, To terrorize our land. But President Obama Still fears the Taliban. And while we are fighting, Iran is enriching its core. For domestic

SAN DIEGO―Republican Congressman Trey Radel of Florida pled guilty of cocaine possession and use this week and blamed his addiction on his alcoholism.  This is the same excuse embattled Toronto Mayor Rob Ford gave for smoking crack cocaine.  Reporters checking into the drinking habits of the two men have learned that they always ordered rum

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO―Last week President Obama admitted he had fumbled the ball in the rollout for the Affordable Health Care Act and pledged he would rectify his mistake: “If I fumbled the ball, I’m somebody who’s going to wait until I get the next play and run as hard as I can. We

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO―Former President George W. Bush will speak tonight at a fundraiser for the Messianic Jewish Bible Institute, an evangelical Christian group whose aim is to convert all Jews to accelerate the Second Coming of Christ.  Fending off appeals by Jewish leaders to cancel his talk, Bush’s public relations team has come

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO-Now that Chris Christie has presidential momentum, the Tea Party is conducting opposition research to find skeletons in his past.  One researcher is exploring a rumor about him being guilty of marital and political infidelity.  Apparently there is footage of him in a threesome with a democratic president, and a tempestuous

By Laurie Baron SAN DIEGO―Since the HealthCare.gov website is still not working properly, Kathleen Sebelius is advising single applicants without health insurance to use the eharmony.com dating website in the hope they will meet and marry someone who already has health insurance. Reeling over charges of plagiarism, Senator Rand Paul has accused his critics of